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THE 



SCHOOL OF REFORM; 



OR, 



HOW TO RULE A HUSBAND, 



A COMEDY. 



:XN 



FIVE jiCTS, 



AS perform'd at the 



Cfjeatte^Hopal, Co^jent^-^arOen. 



BY THOMAS MORTON, Esq. * 



PHILADELPHIA: 

Primed by Wm. Duane, JVo, 106, Market Street, 
fOB. GEORGE E^BLAKE, COOk's BUILDINGS. 





♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ 



.1805. 



* • • .• • •. 



-fRfoV 



i ' 






f 



PROLOGUE. 



(WRITTEN BY JOHN TAYLOR, ESQ. J 

IN due obedience to old Custom's right, 

'^ie Prologue comes to pay its court to-night ; 

But with no mean petitionary air, 

Wh'ch true-born Britains must disdain to wear. 

A Bard, whose Muse has gain'd your smiles before, 

By hope emb^lden'd, ventures here once more ; 

Nor is that hope to vanity allay'd— » 

The swelling produce of o'er-wetning pride ; 

But, raib*d upon your merits, not his own. 

The grateful tribute laid at Candoui*s throne. 

If there be critics here who come by rule 

To judge our drama by the Grecian school, 

From sages so profound in ancient art 

Our author's simple refuge is — the heart: 

To that soft Arbiter he dares appeal, 

Assui'd of lenity from those who feel. 

And think not, ye of nicer mo Jem mode, 

He means to* dramatise the penal code, 

If, slighting well-bred vice, far once, he draws 

A pliin and homely vxtim of the laws ; 

Some latent good v e in the worst might scan 

To claim the sympathy of erring man. 

Then blest be thtyf whose lib'ial hearts combined 

To sooth the horrors of the guilty mind ; 

And, with a g* nuine philanthrcpic glow, 

Have rescu'd Innocence from want and woe. 

Amid the charities which grace our land. 

Their honoui*d fabric shall conspicuous stand. 

No m.ore the friendless orphan shall despair,-— 

Secure of shelter and of succour there ; 

Hence future times shall guard the hollow'd dome 

The School of Virtue, and the wanderer's home, 

• Vide The Critic. •\ The Philanthvephic Society, 



DRAMATIS PERSONiE. 



MEN. 



. Lord Avondale 

General Turragan 

Mr, Ferment 

Frederick - 

Tyke 

Old Man - 

Timothy 

Feter 

Bailiff 

yailor 



Messrs. Cooke. 

M UN DEN. 

Lewis. 

C. Kemble; 

Emery, 

Murray. 

Beverley. 

Klanakt, 

Atkins. 

Jeffries. 



WOMEN. 



Mrs, St, Clair - 
yidia - - 

A'lrs. Fermetu - 
Mrs, Nicely - 
Shddh " - 



Mrs. GiBBs. 
Miss. Brunton. 
Mrs. Litchfield. 
Mrs. Davenport* 
Mrs. Bevieley.- 



THE 



SCHOOL OF REFORM- 



ACT I. 



SCENE I — The Interior of a Pavilion attached 
to the Castle of Lord Avondale, Peter and other 
Servants employed in ?iailing up a large Cabinet, 
Mrs, Nicelfj seated, g^'^^^g directions, 

Mrs, Nicely. 

COME, that will do ; but don't make more Ut- 
ter than you can help (rifses). Be it what it may, 
I am glad it is safely put up, however. 

Peter, I say, Mrs. Nicely, should not you like 
to know what's in the inside ? 

Mrs, Nicely. Should not you, Peter ? 

Peter, Oh fie I no. Curiosity don't become ^ 
servant. 

Mrs, Nicely, Umph ! can't it be opened, think 
you ? 

Peter. Opened — no, no. — I've been trying these 
two hours. 

3Irs. Nicely. Indeed ! — you have no curiosity ; 
and yet you try to pick your master's locks : — 
nov/, I own I have the greatest curiosity in the 
world, but for the worl - I would not so gratify it. 
-^Well, now every thing is in its place. 

Peter. Yes, Mrs. Nicely, you have fagged us 
prettily ; and for what ? Do you think his lordhh p 
thanks you for keeping every thing in its place ? 

A 2 



6 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

3Ir3, Nicely, Why, I fear there is one thing he 
^ill have no reason to thank me for, and that is for 
keeping you in your place, coxcomb ! — {A knock' 
ing at the door,) — Go and attend the do i — Who- 
ever he be he is scraping his shoes, and that's al- 
ways a good sign. 

Frederick {xvuhout,) Let the carriage proceed* 
I have business here, and will walk to the castle. 
(^Enters^ and places on the table a port-folio.') — 
Aye, this is the pavilion his lordship mentioned 
— the cabinet, 1 see, is already placed-— his lord- 
ship shall know your prompt attention. — {Sits^ and 
takes a letter from the port-folio.) 

Mrs, Nicely, Who is he, I wonder ? 

Peter, Vi\ tell you who he is : — his father was 
a thief. 

Mrs. Nicely. A thief ! 

Peter, A convicted felon.-^ 

3Irs, Nicely. Poor youth I 

Peie", And you know, what's bred in the bone 
— thai's all. 

Mrs, Ncely, Why there may be something in 
that ; for I remember, Peter, your father was aa 
informer, and you can't help following the trade. 

Fred, {To the ^erva?its,) Be good enough to 
take that port-folio, and accompany me to the 
castle. [Servants smile^ whimper ^ and point at him,y 
So, so 1 — even here the busy tongue of fame has 
proc-ainicd my disgraceful orighi — -heigh ho! — 
I^Iadam, 1 presume I address the housekeeper of 
lord Avondale {looking at the letter and present' 
ing it) ^ Mrs. Nicely.. 

3Irs, Nicely, (pntting on spectacles,) 'Tis his 
lordshij.'s hand; and you have kept it very nice 
and tidy, young man. — (Apart,) I don't know 
•what may be in the bone, but the flesh is hand- 
some and comely, however. — (Reads) — * My 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. r 

^' good old lady,' — Ah \ if I was as sure that I am 
good as I am that I am old — well, wtl! — ' on the 
' receipt of this, you will prepare fur my immedi- 
' ate arrival at the castle.' — All is pre^.-arod. — •• It 
' will be delivered to you by my j)ri\ ate secretary : 
' he is a youth of singular worth — to his courage 
' I owe my life.* (To servants) Do you hear 
that? — ' I need not desire you to pay him respect, 
' as his virtues will better command it ; — those of 

* my establishment who wish to gain my regard 

* will best secure it by endeavouring to obtain his. 

' Avondalf' 
(The servants officioushj take up the port-folio^ and 
hoxv to Frederick.) 

Fred, Let it rest ; I will carry it myself. I have 
no occasion for your attendance. 

Mrs, Nicely, Don't stand scraping there, dirty- 
ing the floor ; but* go along, all of you, as you are 
bid. (Exeunt Servants. J And 1 shall see his 
lordship in good health, sir t 

Fred, Perfectly so. 

Mrs, Nicely, I am glad to hear it ; for he has 
plague enough in that parliament-house. — Why, I 
read the other day in the news, that he was on his 
legs three hours, poor man ! and yet, good-natur- 
ed soul 1 he said he "was content. 

Fred, The situation of this pavilion does credit 
to his lordship's taste — the prospect is enchanting, 

Mrs. Nicely, Yes — but I believe it has a recom- 
mendation more enchanting in his eyes — for here 
stood the cottage of a lady he loved ; I was hcF 
nurse — poor Emily ! — 

Fred, Was she unfortunate ? 

3Irs, Nicely, Aye ; and though he Is mv mas- 
ter, shame on him for making her so, good dear 
soul ! — Why, she v/ij3uld live a month i-i a room 
without so much as rumpling a chair- cover i and 



a THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

then the tears she shed I — Ah, sir, had you seei\ 
the quantity of pocket-handkerchiefs I had to wash, 
it would have melted your htart. — My memory 
fails me now, or I could tell you all about her. — It 
will be twenty years, come the first Wednesday in 
January, since he took her away — it was a fine 
clear frosty morning — he came about seven 
o'clock — 

Fred, Your memory does not seem so very bad, 
Mrs. Nicely. 

Mrs, Nicely, Yes, 'tis gone. He was not a lord 
then ; it was before he went abroad. 

Fred, But these follies of nis youth are now no 
more. 

Mrs, Nicely. Follies ! — I think they used to be 
called vices, young man. 

Fred, His lordship is about to be married. 

Mrs, Nicely. I think I can remember his father's 
marriage ; it will be nine and forty years come 
next Lammas — they were rather too late at the 
church, and 

Fred, Shall we not be too late at the castle ? — 
you forget. 

31rs, Nicely, Aye, I do indeed 1 — the bride 
v/ore a white and silver neglagee — (looking out J 
— Heyday I what is that ? Have they got a man in 
custody ? 

Fred. Yes ; last night General Tarragan and 
his daughter were attacked by a robber : they are 
now taking him to the castle, till his lordship ar- 
rives. 

Mrs, Nicely, Let us follow, or there will be sad 
dirty doings. 

General Tarragon f without* J Away with him, 
a rascal ! 

Fred, That is General Tarragan, who, in the 
Indies, has won by his sword wealth enough to 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 9 

offer his daughter in marriage to Lord Avondale. 
Gen. (without, J His lordship not here I — ^then 
Pll see who is here — Centers.) — Why, what a 
gew-gaw place is this ! — S'blood ! a four-poundsr 
would blow it to atoms in -Eh, who goes 
there ? 

Fred, I am — ■ 

Gen, Five feet eleven, a'n't you t 

Fred, I believe so. 

Gen, Well, what regiment ? 

Fred, I am not in the army ? 

Gen. Not in the army ? 

Fred, No, sir, — lam-— 

Gen, Don't trouble yourself— 'tis no mattes: 
what you are. 

Fred, I am a dependant on Lord Avondale. 

Gen, A dependant, and five feet eleven ! — hope 
no offence — if there be, I guess what will follow, 
and must take the consequences. 

Fred, Quarrelling with Lord Avondale*s friend 
would ill repay the obligations I owe 

Gen, Sir, I hope you don't pretend to have 
more obligations to Lord Avondale than I have. 
'Sdeath, Sir, but for Lord Avondale I should not 
have been worth a scar. Look here, Sir (shexuing 
his forehead) — ^but for him I should not have 
been sent on that beautiful forlorn hope, where I 
was left for dead — Obligations indeed 1 Yes, Sir, 
but for Lord Avondale 1 might, at this moment, 
have been a sound, healthy, peaceable man ; fit 
for nothing but to kill time, wound feelings, and 
cut up reputations with old tabbies at a tea-table. 
— Madam, I did not see you — hope no offence — 
if there be, you, doubtless, have relations ; and, 
in that case, I guess what will follow, and must 
take the consequences. 

Fred, (apart) If death has not visited you. 



to THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

General, itiis not for want of very kind invitations. 
I hope your daughter has recovered from the 

alarm— 

Gen. What, you heard of it ? — Yes, we had a 
pleasant sort of a skirmish — a fellow clapt a pistol 
to my head. My daughter screamed confound- 
edly, and jumped out of the carriage ; but she got 
protection from some clodhopper — 

Fred, Which was your humble servant. 

Gen. The devil I Well, Sir, I've said it ; I con- 
elude an apology won't be accepted, and so— — 

Fred. I do not even wish you, Sir, to make 
one. 

Gen. Don*t you ? Then Sir, I ask your pardon 
with all my heart. — Yes, I slapped off a couple of 
barrels at the rascal, but I missed him : the fact 
is, I have not lately had the practice I could wish. 
— But, zounds, my Julia will get to the castle be- 
fore us. I say, how do you like her ? 

Frtd. (embarassed.J Miss Tarragan is — such 
charms — 1— 

Gen. You don't like her : well, it can't be help- 
ed. 

Fred. Indeed, General, your daughter is only 
in danger of exciting too warm an interest. 

Gen, Poor wench I she's new to England ;— 
born in India ; — none of your routing, flouting, 
high-fliers — all strut and streamers, like a young 
ensign. No, I have only to say. Open arms I 
First rank, kneel ! down she goes ; supple as a 
Whanyee -.^that's old Tarragan's manual, my 
old girl. 

Mrs. Nkely. Tarragan I ah, my poor head I 
Why, sure you can't be the son of old Tarragan 
the haberdasher, of Beverley ? 

Gen. Why, yes, I believe I am — I cant'tdeny it. 



I'HE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 11 

Mrs* Nicely, Deny it ! why should you ? he was 
an honest man. 

Gen* Yes, I believe he was— Come along, 

Mrs, Nicely, Why, then, you must be little 
Joey, that went to the Indies. 

Gen, Yes, I'm Joey — Come along, I say. 

Fred. General, can I assist you ? 

Gen, Assist me — damn your assistance ! though 
you are five feet eleven. Take care of the old girl. 

Mrs, Nicely, What a memory have I ? New I 
can't for my life recollect, whether or no there 
was not a little bill left unsettled at your fa- 
ther's 

Gen, Oh. confound your memory ! I say {to 
FrederickJ^vf^\i fast~breathe her — that's our on- 
ly chance. [Exeunt, 

SCENE II.-^--^ saloon in Avondale-Castk. 

(Shouts -without,) 
Enter Peter and Servants, 
Peter, Now, you stand there — and you, there. 
I think I hear the carriage— -Zounds I where's 
Mrs. Nicely. 

Enter Mrs, Nicely. 
Mrs, Nicdy, Bless me ! bless me ! I hope I'm 
not too late, 1 here— hold up your heads, and 
pull out your frills — I'm in sach a pucker ! 

{Enter Frederick.^ 
Is his lordship coming ? 

Fred, Heard you not those applauding shouts ? 
{Enter Lord AvoNTi alb and Servants, J 
My benefactor ! Oh, how sweetly must those 
sounds of joy vibrate on a patriot heart ! 

Lord Avon, Guard against its fascination, by 
remembering how many, to gain a nation's appro- 
bation, have parted with their own. Believe me, 



12 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Frederick, unless conscience echoes back the ap- 
proving plaudit, the world presents not an object 
more pitable than the victim of ambition. Let 
those memorials I mentioned be copied. 

Fred. It is already done. 

Lord Avon, flaking his hand. J Good boy ! thy 
active zeal still anticipates my wishes. 

3Jrs. Niceiy, C after having Jidgelted about Lord 
Avondale,) Hem 1 hem I 

Lord Avon, Mrs. Nicely, I heartily rejoice to 
see you bear your years more as an ornament than 
a burthen. 

Mrs. Nicely I am pretty well, thank your ho- 
nour, excepting that my memory is gone. 

Lord Avon. I am not very sorry to hear that. 
(Apart.) 

Mrs. Nicely* Your lordship came through the 
hall? 

Lord Avon. Yes, and marked your diligence. 

Mrs. Nicely The old rusty armour and shields 
now look like a row of nice pewter dishes. It is a 
pretty sight. 

Lord Avon. (toFrederick.) Enough to drive an 
antiquary mad. 

Mrs. Nicely. And the colours that came from 
abroad, all torn to rags with bullets, I've had them 
so neatly darned and scoured, that nobody would 
suppose they had ever been out of ;he paiish. 
And, my lord, I have placed the cabinet in the 
pavilion, just where the window used to be where 
poor Emily sat when 

Lord Avon. Silence! I thought your memory 
was gone. Is it not enough that i never can for- 
get? 

Mrs. Nicely. It will break my heart if I've of- 
fended you. Bad as my poor head is, I must to 
the grave remember your lordship's kindness. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM, 13 

Lord Avon. Nay, nay, I meant no anger; — ^do 
iK)tkner\ I insist. 

Airs, Nicely. Well, dear master ! I won't. As 
there is no carpet, it might dirty my apron, to be 
sure; 

Lord Avon, You will now see my bride. 

Mrs. Nicely. Well, she won't be handsomet 
than Emilv was. 

Lord Avon, Again fie ! fie I 

(Enter G'6'?? era/ Tar rag an «/2^ Julia.) 

General Tarragan, a thousand welcomes ; 

Gen. There, my lord : my girl and my fortune 
are all I possess; — they are yours. (Taking his 
daughter's hand^ and presenting her to Lord Avon* 
dale.) 

Lord Avon, To intrude on 5^ou, at this mo- 
ment, professions of regard, wouM insult feel- 
ings that even now seem wounded ; but there are 
professions which may be made with delicacy 
and heard with pleasure — those of friendship, 
lady : in the character of friend alone, honour me 
with your consideration, till you -may be pleased 
to change it for one more endearing. 

Julia, My lord I am highly sensible of your 
goodness — attribute my agitation to the alarm I 
last night suffered. — My father's will to me is^ 

Gen, Martial law. 

Lord Avon, {to Frederick,) Is she not beauti- 
ful. 

Fred, (sighs,") She is, indeed. 

Ge7i' But, my lord, my people have got the 
rascal that wanted to blow me to the devil: you 
had better commit him, and put him out of hi? 
misery* 



14 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Lord Avon, Well remembered : Frederick, pre- 
pare for his examination ; — but hold, I ought to 
make you acquainted with this worthy youth. 

Gen. Oh, we have met ; and the young dog 
had a mind to pick a quarrel with me. 

Fred, My « ord, on my honour — 

Julia, I last night benefited by this gentleman's 
protection ; — his delicate attentions 1 must ever 
remember with gratitude. 

Gen, And I'll return the obligation : — I wiil. 
Sir, for all your proud menacing looks : I guess 
what you would be at. So, my lord, tell me his 
family. 

Lord Avon, At present we will wave the sub- 
ject — there is a difficulty. 

Fred, (advancing.) My lord, pardon me ; my 
soul abhors mystery and concealment — My story 
is soon told. I — (is overcome by his feelings^ then^ 
collecting himself^ proceeds) — In me you behold 
the son of a criminal. 

yidia, A criminal I 

F^red. Even so; my father's name is not known 
to me ; for in my earliest infancy he was, for his 
crimes, banished his native land. 

yulia. O Heaven 1 and were you left to meet 
the desertion of an unfeeling world? 

Fred. No, lady. I was left to meet the special 
protection of Heaven ; for by those generous men 
. — those guardians of infant virtue — I was snatch- 
ed from infamy, and plased at the Philanthropic 
'School; there, soon as the dawn of reason chased 
away ihe dreams of childhood, I endeavoured to 
repay the blessings bestow^ed on me by my dili- 
gence, emulation, and gratitude. 

Gen, Bravo I— -why they made you a philoso- 
pher. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 15 

Fred, Sir, I am indebted to them for a nobler 
title ; for they made me a Christian. Some time 
since. Providence blessed me by making me its 
instrument in preserving the life of Lord Avon- 
dale ; and how has he rewarded me ? he has plac- 
ed me near his person — he has asked me to call 
him friend. — Oh I if the devotion of this life — 

Lord Avon, Dear Frederick I no more, 

Fred, One moment. 'Tis true, I think of my 
birth with grief, but till vice can be proved here- 
ditary I will not think of it with shame : if virtue 
be an inmate in this breast, shall I basely scorn the 
fostering hands that placed it there ? — no, rather 
let me proclaim that my protectors were the noblest 
spirits of the land. O generous imperial Bri- 
tain ! look proudly round ; and, while other na- 
tions boast their Pantheons of Gods, do thou dis- 
play thy princely endowments for calamity — thy 
palaces for poverty. I've talked too long — pray 
pardon me ; but oh I this heart — this grateful 
heart — was bursting. [Exit, 

Gen, Damn that fellow, to make an old woman 
of a general (wiping his eyes J, Oh, if they had 
but made him a drummer, by this he might have 
been a hero — and as dead as Alexander the 
Great. 

Julia, Dear father, what a horrid thought l-- 
how fortunate is he in so noble a patron ! 

Lord Avon, His merit steps before his fortune ; 
for if, proudly blossoming on the tree of heredita- 
ry honour, so many produce only the fruit of vice, 
how greatly should he be esteemed in whose 
breast (spite of the uncultivated soul, the nipping 
blasts of adversity, and the foul and poisonous 
weeds that envelope it) virtue takes firm root ; and, 
warmed by the divine ray of our religion, gives 



16 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

produce grateful to Heaven — a blessing to man* 
iind ! {Noise without,) 

Julia. Here comes the criminal ! — allow me to 
retire. 

Lord Avon, Honour me with jour hand. This 
good lady will attend you. 

Idrs, Nicely, Aye, that I will. — What a ne^at 
pretty creature ! 

Lord Avon, '* The agitation he has caused you 
*' fair creature \ will not tend to soften my resent- 
*•' ment." 

Jidia. " Oh, my lord ! — but I will not fear that 
" I can aggravate his suffering ; for Lord Avon- 
*' dale's dispensations of justice must ever be tem- 
" pered by mercy.'^ 

[Exeunt ZorJ Avondale, Julia, 3Ii's. Nicely, 
ond a.tendants. 

Gen. So, here comes Scapegrace I 

Enter Frederick zvith Tyke, in custodij of black 

servmits, 

Fred, You may now unbind him. (Takes out 
a pocket-book.) 

Tyke, Ah, do ; for ease, you know, is every 
thing. (They unbind him). Aye, now we're all 
alike — and that makes company pleasant. Give 
me. my hat, though ; — for I wish to be mannerly ; 
and a hat helps a body a bit. (Moving his hat 
about.) 

Fred, Well, fellow ! — behold the vile situation 
to which }'ou have brought yourself. 

Tyke. No, Sur, don't say that ; because I did 
not bring myself — they brought me : bless you 1 
I did not wish to come. — I just mention it, 'cause 
right's right. 

Fred, From whence do vou come ? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORIVL 17 

Tijke, Fra t'other side of watter — I come fm 
abroad. 

Fred, Your name ? 

Tyke. Why my name's Bobby, 

Fred, Your surname ? 

Tyke, Oh 1 I understand, mun — Tyke. • 

Fred, Robert Tyke. 

Tyke, Yes. 

Gen, You have occasionally changed j'our 
name ? 

Tyke, Nay, never : sister changed hurs when 
she was married — but then I never was married. 
This is a very pretty room — don't you think so ? 

Fred. Insolent ! 

Ttjke, Oh no, sur ; I civilly thought you might 
like to change conversation : too much of one 
thing, you know — 

Fred, If you have partners in your guilt, and 
will make full confession, you may probably be 
admitted king's evidence. 

Tyke.. You don't say so ? That must be mighty 
grand indeed ! Me king's evidence ! I'm much 
obliged to you ; but I don't rightly know why 
they've brought me on a visit to this lord, like — ■ 
because I've not the pleasure of his acquaintance. 

Fred. Indeed ! more knave than fool, I find. 

Gen, Well scoundrel ! — 

Tyke, Sur, I ax pardon ; but consider I'm no' 
but a stranger; and saying scoundrel is rather 
macking free at first sight, i think.-— 

Gen, But at first sight you clapt a pistol to my 
head, and be damned to you! I'll trounce you, 
you black rascal ! 

Tyke, (To black servant.") You hear what your 
master says to you ? 

Fred. And you shall hear what Lord Avondale 
will say to you. 



18 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Tijke, But now, why should you trouble his 
lordship \ Pm sure if you will propose any thing 
at all in reason, you'll not find me fractious. 

Gen, Go to the devil \ 

Tyke, {^Looking at servafits.") Ecod, I seem to 
have got there already. — 

Gen, Here comes my lord. 

Enter Lord Avondale. 

Z. Avon, Where is the prisoner ? 

Tyke, Aye, where's prisoner ? My lord wants 
to know where prisoner is. — (They bring Tyke 
forward; Lord Avondale^ on seeing hifn^ starts; 
Tyke looks at him with an eye of recognition.') 

L, Avon, It is impossible — Yet those features-— 

Tyke, If it should — but, no, it can't be — 

L, Avon, (recovering,) What is the prisoner's 
name. 

Fred, Robert Tyke. 

L, Avon, (apart,) It is the man ! — How shall I 
proceed? 

Tyke, I'm dommed, but it's him 1 Oh, then all's 
just as nice as nine-pence, (Jlpart and snapping 
hisjlngers.) 

L, Avon, This man a robber? — impossible I 

Tyke. Quite foolish to suppose it. 

L, Avon, I know him well. He is my tenants 

Tyke, Yes ; and if I had been a rogue, 'tis 
very likely you would have trusted me, as yoa 
did, with 

L, Avon, (i7iterrupting him,) Very large sums 
of money. General, can you swear that this man 
presented a pistol to your breast ? 

Gen, Oh no, my lord I I can't see very well by 
day, and it was as dark as the devil. 

L, Avon, What evidence, then, have you of his 
guilt? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 19 

Tijke, We haAe not got ony at all, sar. 

Fred. Silence ! 

Ge?i. Why, when I fired, the robber fled Into a 
wood ; and my servants found this fellow perched 
on a tree. 

T^yke. Yes, that's right enough — that's no lie. 

Gen. Lie ! Oh that you were a gentleman I 

Tyke. Thank you, sur : perhaps you could help 
me to someit in that line l 

L, Avon. How came you, fellow, on that tree ? 

Tyke. Sur — my lord, 1 mean — you was not a 
lord tho' when 

L. Avon, (interrupt'ing him. J- When you wers 
my tenant? — no : go on. — 

Tyke, Why, I was taking alone by my«elf a 
salutary walk, thinking of what not — about the 
moon and cheeses, and politics, and pigs, and 
things I'm acquainted with like — quite natural, 
you know — when I heard a shooting off o' gun- 
powder ; so, says I to myself, without speaking 
tho', as sure as my name's Bob, here's a parcel! 
of rogues or smugglers, gammering and fighting, 
and ecod an honest man may get himself shot 
among em ; so I clavvered up a tree — quite natur 
ral, you know. — 

L. Avon. This is far from improbable. 

Tyke. Very far. 'Tis highly improbable, I asr 
sure you. 

L, Avon, (to General) A word — You have 
certainly mistaken the man. A victorious General 
becoming the prosecutor of a felon would not,,, 
perhaps^ be very agreeable I 

Gen. No J- — 1 should not like it. I say, send 
him about his business. 

L. Avon. There are suspicions; but 

Gen. Suspicions don't become a gentleman4 

L, Avon. Perhaps he might again attack youif^ 



20 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Gen. Do you think he would ? (Apart J That's 
just what I should like. Let him go j I won't pro- 
secute : only let him go, that's all. 

L. Avon. Frederick, the evidence adduced be- 
ing too slight to place the life of man in danger, 
or injure his character by unfounded accusation, 
he is discharged. 

Fred. Discharged ! 

L. Avon. Yes, sir, discharged', {with severity,) 
Unless your superior judgment and authority 
change the determination. 

Fred. 'Tis very strange; — discharge the pri- 
soner! 

Tyke. That's me — I'm prisoner, I know. 

Fred. You may depart. 

Tyke. Thank you, sur. I'm sorry to break up 

company like — Cg^^'^^S') 

L.Avon, Hold! (7o Tyke apart) This time 
}'OU have escaped ; but if again 

Tyke. Oh ! why should 1 .** I shall want for no- 
thing now, you know. He ! he ! I vvas varry glad 
to see you, sir — my lord ; for I don't suppose 
among strangers my innocence would have stood 
me in much stead — I don't indeed. 

L. Avon. Be prudent. Frederick, at more lei- 
sure I mean to admonish this man respecting his 
future conduct; — convey him to a secure apart- 
ment, and let him not converse with my people. 
Come, General ; your lenity does credit to your 
feelings. 

Gen. My lord, 1*11 not contradict you, because 
it may lead to unpleasant consequences. 

^JLxeunt Lord Ay onD ale and General TaR' 

RAG AN. 

Fred. What should this mean ? — I am ready to 
attend you. 

Tyke. Sir, *tis too much — really too much — 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 21 

Fred, Go before — 

Tyke, Upon my honour, I'm quite shocked 
like— ha ! ha ! hal But if I must — why — (puts 
on his haU) [Exeunt-, 



END OF THE TXRST ACt- 



22 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 



ACT IL 



SCENE IL-^The House. A Pleasure-ground 
of Mrs. Ferment* s. Mrs. Ferment is discover^ 
ed at the Top of the Stage^ adjusting some 
Flowers, Enter Tiuothy from the House, 

Timothy, 

DEAR, dear, where can mistress be! — My 
master is in such a combustion and a passion — • 
(Mrs. Ferment advances). — Madam, my master 
wants to see you directly ; he says he has a plan— 

Mr-s. Fer. A plan— — ynu mean a hundred.—— 
Very well, I'll come. (Moves the other way. J 

Tim. That's a queer way of coming.— — 

Mrs, Fer, Did you not hear me. Sir ? (Exit 
T^mothij.) A plan, indeed I heigh-ho! unless I 
take care, this good man of mine, by his profound 
penetration and superior foresight, will absolutely 
run blindfold into ruin. 

Re-enter Timothy. 

Tirii. My master, madam, is quite angry with 
me, because ycu won't come : — now, madam, 
that's not my fault you know, because — 

Mrs. Ftr. Silence ! — Has Miss Tarragan re- 
turned from. Avondale castle ? Oh, I see her car- 
riage. (She kisses her hand.) Tell your master 
I'll come presently. 

Tim, I have told him that, but — 

3irs, Fer, Don't you hear, Sir .^ \lL>:lt Timothy. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 23 

{Enter Julia.) 

My dear girl, welcome back ! — Well all quiet 
there ? {Pointing to Julia's heart.') Eh! were you 
not dazzled with the splendid emanation of his 
Lordship's diplomatic fame ? 

" Julia, His politeness was extreme. 

" Mrs. Fer. Oh 1 that's all. 

" Julia. The compliments he paid me were de- 
licate ; but so cold — - 

'' Mrs. Fer. As to convince you that his heart 
" and understanding were at tHat moment em- 
" ployed on some foreign embassy. — Well, my 
" love, and is the happy day fixed ?" 

Julia. {Bursting into tears) O madam ! 

Mrs. Fer. My sweet girl 1 pardon me ; I am 
shocked at my levity- — But, tell me, does this pro- 
jected aUiance render you miserable ? 

Julia. Oh ! truly so. 

Mrs. Ftr. I have not the honour of his Lord- 
ship's acquaintance, but am convinced he never 
will press the fulfilment of an ergagment which 
would entai' misery on one so lovely and amiable. 

Julia, [With vivacity,) Do you think so ? — 
Ah ! but then my father is determined. 

3Irs. Fer. And are you determined to obey? 
• Julia. You know, madam, I must obey my fa- 
ther, as much as if he were my husband. 

Mrs. Fer. Umph I Why, as much as that per- 
haps you may ; but there are instances, my love, 
where even husbands are not always obey'd. 

Enter Timothy. 

Tim. My master, madam, insists on it you come- 
to him. 

Mrs. Fer, I cannot come — Pm engaged — say 
so. (Exit Timothy.) Ha ! ha ! rather aa ant illus- 
tration. — 



S4 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

juUa. Govern a husband I 

Mrs, Fer. Yes. 

Julia, But how is it done ? 

Mrs* Fer, What a question 1 — of course hy the 
tongue. 

yulid. Ha! ha! I have heard, indeed, that its 
voluble exertion will achieve — 

Mrs. Fer. Nothing, positively nothing ; — on 
the contrary, I maintain that its flexibility is the 
grand course of female subjugation. — Words, my 
love, give animation to the contest ; there's blow 
for blow, and, the weapon not being fatal, victory 
is seldom obtained — -but, to sulen inveterate 
silence what can Be opposed? — My motto is — • 
Be dumb, and conquer. 

Julia. I wonder, then, silence is not more prac- 
tised. 

Mrs. Fer. Oh ! my dear child, 'tis very difficult 
— even, I, anxious, of course, for the honour of 
my system, can hardly keep my tongue quiet — I 
do so long to prattle that, upon my honour, I am 
forced sometimes to give it a bite. 

Julia. Ha! ha! 

Mrs. Fer, My dear young friend ! I don't mean 
to make a rebel of you ; but if you honour us with 
your company a few days, I think you will be con- 
vinced that a woman may sometimes govern with 
propriety. — \Tim. (Speaks in the house.) Yes, Sir 
— she's in the garden.] — 

Ah! here he comes! Fly, my love, fly — for it 
would be cruel in me to allow you to anticipate the 
joys of matrimony. — Now for a duet, which I 
fear will be distinguished rather bv its spirit than 
Its harmony, and will probably end in a solo by 
my dear crazy husband. — Pursue this walk, and 
1 11 come to you presently — look here — this way. 

\ExeunU 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 2^ 

Fei\ (Without. J You are sure she's here.-— 
Timothy, (Without, J Yes, Sir. 

FERMENT enters from the House — Papers in his 
Hand— others sticking out of his Pocket — Timo- 
TiiY follows. 

Per. So, madam, I must come to you*— must 
I ? — ^ Why did you say my wife was here ? 

Tim. Why, Sir, I sure she was — if you'll allow 
me, Sir, only to — 

Per, Don't be tedious. 

Tim, Sir, I only — 

Per, Blockhead ! don't you know you address 
a man of penetration and talents ? 

Tim, I'm sure I ought to know, for you have 
told me so a hundred times — There's a man in 
the hall waiting for you — 'tis — 

Per, I know who it is — 'tis the churchwarden. 

Tim, No, Sir, it is not ; 'tis — > 

Per, I know it is Mr. Visto, the author of the 
picturesque and beautiful — 

Tim, No, Sir, it is not the picturesque and 
beautiful gentleman — ^'tis Dr. Oxygen, the man 
that cures folks by giving them airs to drink — » 

Per. True, Timothy ; and I mean to be his pa- 
tient. — 

Tim, Don't, Sir. — Lord, Fm sure you can give 
yourself airs plenty. — 

Per. Silence 1 — Give the doctor this certificate 
of cures. 

Tim, Yes, Sir — (Reading and going,) — Mor- 
tality bill for the year — 

Per, You stupid rascal 1 you have got the wrong 
paper. 

Tim, Yes, Sir — I ax pardon for your giving it 
me — (Mrs. Perment appears again, J — Sir, here 

IS'— 



26 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Fer. I know — 'tis my wife. ( Timothy S7naaks 
his hands together.) What did you mean by that ? 

Ti7n. I'll be shot if for once you have not guess- 
ed right. — 

Fer. For once guessed right ! — begone ! — (Exit 
Timothy.]. — What a misfortune to possess talents, 
penetration, foreknowledge, and be surrounded by 
a parcel of ignorant — 

Mrs, Fer. hem !— 

Fer. I think, madam, you might have attended 
my summons a little sooner. — fShe shakes her 
head.) — Aye, that means no 1 CShe nods, J Ah, 
that means yes ! — but why not say so ? — damn it, 
there can't be much trouble in saying — yes — {She 
smiles) — Ah, my dear wife 1 never shall I for- 
get what you said last July was a twelvemonth. — 
You said, and 1 thought it the music of the spheres, 
that nothing was so delicious as a congenial inter- 
change of sentiment. 

Mrs. Fer, I think so still. 

Fer. She speaks — now for a charming prattle-*- 
yciu think so still ? 

3Irs, Fer. Yes, my dear ; and provided you 
talk reasonabi) — 

Fer. Certainly. 

Mrs. Fer. And don't contradict — 

Fer. I never do — there I must contradict you— - 
Now tell me, when did I ever contradict my dear 
wife ? — This is delightful, ' the feast of reason 
' and the flow of soul.' Well, how go on the im- 
provements ? — Now here, for instance — (Look* 
ing towards the audience J — -the hohouse — charm- 
ing, is it not? — rhe choicest gems of nature nur- 
tured by the refined hand of art, lovely to behold, 
but difficult to collect them — the beauties seem 
rather crowded though — 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 2r 

3Irs. Fei\ I should be very sorry to part with 
one of them. 

Ftr. I don't wonder at it. — That approach to 
the left is infernal — we must plant laurels by thou- 
sand?. — . 

Mrs, Fer, Why, indeed, the planting of laurels 
becomes rather a necessary duty, when so many 
of our gallant countrymen are determined to gaiher 
them. — 

Fer. Oh ! prett}% pretty ! 

Mrs* Fer, But instead of laurel-trees, bay-trees, 
or pedigree-trees, I could mention a tree that I 
fear, husband, you will never cultivate — and yet 
it is the parent stock from which these scions 
proudly flourish. 

Fer. Indeed I 

Mrs. Fer. It is called, my dear, the tree of in- 
dustry ; — its soil is liberty — its root is integrity — 
its stem is independence — its branches are benevo- 
lence — its blossoms are honours — and its fruit — 
a plum. 

Fer. How she talks ! But you like this plan of 
pulling down the house — putting a hundred acres 
under water ? — 

Mrs. Fer. No. 

Fer. Why, my love ? explain in full — be ample, 
my darling. 

Mrs. Fer. Because we cannot afford the ex- 
pence — indeed, my dear George, if you would 
turn your attention to the means of increasing our 
fortune instead of diminishing it — rconsider our 
children. 

>Fcr. Oh bless you, my very thoughts — that's 
sympathy — what I call nuptials of the soul.— 
Sit down, my darling Fanny ? I've such a plan I 
You know, my love, that my relative Miss Tar- 
ragan is about to be married to Lord Avondale. 



58 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

(She 7iods\J Nay, hang it, don't do that I — Clml^ 
fating, J — as the man says in the play, ' If thou 
canst nod, speak too.' 

Mrs, Fer, Very well. 

Fer, Then I shall be introduced.— 

Mm, Fer, Very well. — 

Ft r. You know I'm a devilish clever fellow, — - 

3Irs, Fer, No, I don't. 

Fer, Yes, you do — and Lord Avondale is a 
first rate — a monstrous great gun. — Now his inter- 
est, backed by a few thousands, for which we 
could mortgage our estate — {She shews symp^ 
ioms of discontent) — would obtain me a seat in a 
certain assembly, which, with my talents, would 

lead to (^pause.) — Eh ! — now what do you say ? 

it would lead to — (^pause.) — Dumb again 1 — (She 
turns her chair from him, and looks at an ornament 
suspended at her breast,) — That's my hair in the 
locket, is not it ? (Joud) — Don't you hear ? (pause, 
greatly irritated,) Allow me, madam, to ask you 
one question, which is, — What the devil's the use, 
when I can't get an answer ? — You are a scandal to 
your sex, do you hear that ? I'll be divorced- — 'tis 
a new case. — I'll be divorced, I tell you. Now 
what have you to say to that ! eh ? (pause) Block- 
head 1 to explain my grand designs to such a nin- 
ny — I've done with you. 

Fnter Timothy, zvlio whispers Mrs, Yeruest* 

Mrs, Fer, Very well — V \ come — 
Fer, Eh ? — very — what did you say, my dear ^ 
— What do you want. Sir? 

Tim, Mr mistress will inform you, Sir. [Exit, 

Fer. W ill she ? Well, if she will I shall be 

much obliged — (Exit Mrs, Ferment into th*^ house.) 

-—Gone • Oh I sha)l go mad 1 — I wish I could 

hate her. — Now must I abandon aU my delicious 



IHE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 29 

plans, or I shall never get another word from her 
"-^(Jistens) — She's coming back : oh ho I she re- 
lents — now I must manage this in my best manner 
—I won't condescend to look at her.— - 

(Enter GeneralT ARR^GAyi.y 

So, you've thought proper to return-pretty time 
to quarrel indeed, as if I should not have plague 
enough vvidi that old absurd General I Sit down— - 
I must let you into his character ; you don't know 
him — I do — (General seats himself.) — He talks 
devilishly about fighting, but I have my doubts— 
a word in your ear — (Turning roundy sees Gene" 
ral Tarragan.) 

Gen. And a word in yours — joxx may satisfy 
your doubts directly. 

Fer. (Stammerings and affecting to laugh.) Dev. 
ilish comical, was not it ? — I thought it was my 
wife ; and it is very hard that a man can't say 
what he pleases to his own wife — Ha ! ha ! — you. 
don't dislike a joke, my dear General? 

Gen, Not if it's a good one — ^but I can't say 
much for yours. 

Fer, Indeed I — then say no more about it. 
(Apart,) Well parried. — Did you meet my wife ^ 

Gen. Yes — a very fine woman — ptrhaps you 
don't think so ? 

Ferk Oh yes, I do—.! adore her ; but — — . 

Ge?i. But — ah ! there's aiwavs a but. 



Fer, Did she speak a little to you I 
Ge7i, Certainly. 
Fer, Happy fellow 1 

Gen, Oh 1 what she's apt to speak too much to 
you ? 

Fer, No ; damn it ! she won't speak at all — > 
My dear cousin, considering how very it\Y silent 

c 2 



30 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

wives there are, 'tis devilish hard that I should be 
cursed with a dummy. — 

Gen, Why, I own your case is singular ; but 
I'll give you a bit of advice, I have often received 
advice from vou — 

Fer. You have been so fortunate. 

Gen, And bad enough it was. 

Fer. Nay, don't say that. 
* Gen. Well, I won't j but it was very bad. — 

Fer, That is not fair. 

Gen, I own it is not — but damned bad it was^ 
to be sure. 

Fer, Nay. 

Gen. Well, tell me — does she ever talk I 

Fer, Oh, yes, sometimes ! 

Gen, Then mark— when she's inclined, don't 
let her. 

Fer, Not let her 1 'tis my delight — ^the solace 
of 

Gen, Never mind ; when she begins do you 
thunder, gabble away, never stop «— -How are your 
lungs? 

Fer, Pretty well. 

Gen, Don't give it up — Suppose you go and re- 
hearse — the water mill's going — very pretty dou- 
ble for a lady's prattle. 

Fer. But, my dear General, when am I to be 
introduced to the Peer?— -I pant forlhe interview 
■^ — ^the public ought and shall benefit by my pow- 
ers. I mean to get into Parliament Qn a hud 
xvhif>per). 

Gen. Why, you'll have no want of conversation 
there. — • 

Fer, True ; and married men make the best 
members — ^hey bear contradiction w^ith a good 
grace— never in a hurry to call for the question. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 5f 

and get home — so — But you must own that my 
advice never did you any harm. 

Ge?u Wei!, I own it never did ; for, to say the 
truth, friend Ferm.ent, damme if I ever took it. 

[Exeunt^ 

SCENE III. — An Apartment in Avondak Castle. 

Enter Lord Avondale ; he pauses^ then proceeds 
to the opposite Door and opens it. Enter from 
it Tyke. 

Lord Avon. Come hither — How is this, Rob' 
ert ? When I left England you were a youth, 
■whose example was pointed out as an object ot 
imitation — your morals were pure, your industry 
' exemplary— -how is it then that I now see you an 
abandoned outcast ? 

Tyke. Ah, Sur, it was all along w^e* you. 

Lord Avon. Me 1 was not my bounty ample ? 
did I not give you independence ? 

Tijke. Ah, that was it — when you sent me that 
little child to take care on — 

Lord Avon, Hush ! 

Tyke. Well, well ; — and that big lump of mo- 
ney ! you see, as I had not worked for it, it made 
made me quite fidgetty ; I always had my hand 
in my pocket, scrummelling it about hke — so, as 
all Yorkshire lads like galloping horses, I bought 
one, and took't to races, up at our country side— - 
and, ecod ! I pulled stuff into my hat as clean as 
nine-pence. Oh, ho 1 says I, VYi make short 
work o'this ; I'll go to Newmarket, where the 
Lords do bi ing their cattle, and settle matters in 
a hurry. So I went, and mighty pleased I was ; 
for the Jockey Lords called me Squire, you see — 



32 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM 

and clapping me en the back in this manner, says, 
Squire, your horse will beat every thing I 

Lord Avon, Indeed I 

Tyke, Yes, yes — that was pleasant enough ; 
but, unluckily, the Jockey Lords told me a damn- 
ed hei;p o'lies ; for ma horse always cam in lag- 
last. — Then told ma to .hedge ; but it was not 
the hedging I had been used to and somehow I 
got intid ditch like. — So what with that and play- 
ing cards at Lambs skinn'ings (for, bless you, I 
could not catch them at Snitchums) I was — 

Lord Avon, Ruined. 

Tyke, Yes ; as Jockey Lords said — complete- 
ly cleaned out. 

Lcrd Avon.J^'id you not return to honest labour ? 

Tijke, Oh, no, I could not — my hands had got 
soft and smooth, and I had a ring girt about my 
finger : no, I could not tak to work.-— 

Lord Avon, Go on». 

Tyke, Why, as I could stay there no longer, I 
thought it would not be a bad plan to go away — 
so I went intid stable, and, would you believe it t 
the horse that beat mine sometimes coax*d, and 
contrived to get me on his back like — and, ecod I 
galloppedoffwi'mea matter of a hundred miles. 
— I thought no more about it myself — 

Lord Avon. But they did. 

Tyke, Yes, dom them, and were very cross 
indeed ; for they put me intid castle, and tried 
me at sizes. 

Lord Avon. What could you say to avert your 
fate ? 

Tz/y^e. Why, I told the Judge — says I, M> Lord, 
I hope you'll excuse my not being used to this 
kind of tackle — exchange is no robbery — mistakes 
of this kind will happen — but, I assure you I've 
kept the best company we' Jockey Lords, and 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 33 

Such like as yourself. — So they all smiled, as much 
as to say, he's one of us like — .and I thought all 
was right enough ; — but the Judge puts him on a 
black cap, and, without saying with your leave, 
or any thing, orders me to be hanged 1 — 

Lord Avon, Poor wretch I 

Tyke, Don't you be frightened ; they did not 
hang ma' mum — dont'e believe that ; no, bless you 
they sent ma' to Botany Bay for fourteen years. 

Lord Avon, Where, I hope, you remained, re- 
signed to your fate. 

Tyke. Oh ! quite resigned — for I could not get 
away : — I dare say I tried a hundred times. 

Lord Avon. Why did not I know this l — Had 
you sent to my house — 

Tyke, I did send to your house. 

Lord Avon, Well ! 

Tyke, Why, they wrote word, I think, that you 
had been called up to t'other house — but then I 
did not know where that was — -and that you was 
sent abroad by government : — I was sorry to hear 
that, because I knew what that was by m} self like 
< — not that it suprised me, because I heard of your 
always being at Cockpit^ and I guessed what that 
would end in. 

Lord Avon. Pshaw 1 — Come hither ; tell me^ — 
I dread to ask it- — that child- — where — hush I we 
are interrupted — retire into that room. 

Tyke, Certairly ; oh, you'll find me quite an 
agreeable companion like. — There seems some 
varry pratty ciothes of yours in that room. — I 
should not wonder at all if one of them coats would 
fit mc — for we're a good deal alike as to person 
and manner, I think.— 

Lord Avon, Well, well — go in, go in. 

[Eo(it Tyke, 



34 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

{Enter Frederick.) 

Frederick, welcome 1 — you must execute a com- 
mission for me. Look here, this is my portrait, 
painted many years since ; present it to my lovely 
bride — Why do you start I 

Fred, My Lord, I am ill suited to the task. 

Lord Avon, By no means, T his marriage, Fre^ 
derick, is of the highest import to my happiness 
and honour. — The claims made on the purse of 
him who boasts the people's favour, few fortunes 
can uphold— -mine has sunk beneath them ; and, 
but for this wealthy ahiance, obloquy might foully 
spot the proud name of Avondale ; — therefore, 
good Frederick you must be my advocate. 

Fred, What 1 — I plead another's passion !(<7/?ar^) 
Indeed, my Lord, I shall disgrace your cause. 

Lord Avon, Is it then much to praise a friend, 
who perhaps has merited your praise I 

Fred, Oh no ! (taking the ticturp) ; on that 
theme doubt not my zeal. — I flv to know my duty. 
{Goings retiirnii.J I had forgot — General Tarra- 
gan begs a lew minutes conversation. It seems, as 
well as I can recoUect fron?. his discourse, that he 
has conducted to England a Mr? . St. Clair, iu 
whose cause he wishes to interest vour Lordship. 

L'^rd Avon, She may command my services : 
how are ihey to be directed f 

Fred, She wishes, as I understand, to institute 
an enquiry respecting the child of a deceased 
friend, a Mrs. Radnor. 

Lord Avon, (Storting,) Radnor I 

Fred, It is your Lordship's family name. 

Lord Avon, (Enbarassed.) Yes ; that occa- 
sioned my surprise — Where did the General meet 
thisjady ? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 35 

Fred. On the confines of Spain ; — She resided 
many years in the convent where Mrs. Radnor 
died. 

Lord Avon, Died I C Seems in thought.) 

Fred, Shall he attend you here ? 

Lord Avon. Yes; no. — 

Fred. He means to publish the particulars, and 
offer a large reward. — 

Lord Avjn. (With energy, J Not for the world ! 
• — ( recovering. J— xh^it is, I would not advise it. 
Bring me to him hold — is he alone ? 

Fred, He is attended by Mr. Ferment, your 
neighbour. 

Lord Avon. Ferment I I know him not ; I must 
see him alone — tell him so, good Frederick. 

Fred, He will be rejoiced to hear how much 
your Lordship is interested in the cause of his fair 
friend. 

Lord Avon. I am interested — fExit Frederick. J 
—oh, deeply interested. — Should it be so, what 
follows .^— ruin, shame, dishonour — Oh, guilt ! 
guilt! [Exit, 

Terwe^t peeps through the Door, looks about, then 

enters. 

While his lordship is engaged with the General, 
no harm in taking a peep — Charming rooms '. — • 
fit for expanded genius, like mine : — here I shall 
meander through these enchanting labyrinths, till 
I reach the closet — the sanctum sanctorum — the 
—eh 1 somebodv in that room : it would be cursed 
mal-a-propos to stumble on the Peer before I'm 
introduced — But he's safe wich the General, so 
never mind. 

(Enter Tyke, in a different Coat,) 

Sir, your most devoted servant* 



36 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Tyke. Same to you, Sir ; same to you. 

Fer, Odd figure ! — Oh, I see at once who he 
is — great county man, in the commission— yet 
well with him — may be useful. Sorry, Sir, the 
robbery was not brought home to that rascal. 

Tyke. Arc you ? Now there we differ. 

Fer, Indeed ! — You who are used to the ses- 
sions must know these things better than I. Your 
friend Lord Avon dale is a great character, ex- 
tremely popular : did you hear his last speech ? 

Tyke, No ; I don't myself much fancy last 
speeches. 

Fer, In the country, perhaps ? 

Tyke. No, I was out of the country. 

Fer. Abroad I 

Tyke, Yes. 

Fer. What, run out a little, eh —rather out at 
the elbows ? 

Tyke. A good deal. 

Fer, You'll excuse m e ; but I see things in a 
moment. — What — cards, hazard — ah, my dear 
Sir, you should have got some friend to have tied 
you up. 

Tyke, You think so ? Why I could have got 
that done fast enough. 

Fer. But I suppose you were determined to 
take your swing. 

Tyke. Not exactly ; but I did not go abroad 
en that account. 

Fer, Oh, I know it in a moment — ill health ? 

Tyke. Why, I certainly should have died if I 
had stayed. 

Fer, Indeed ! — Oh, my dear Sir, in this world 
we must all have our trials, and you have had 
yours. 

Tyke. I have. 

Fer, Suffer much confinement ? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 3f 

Tyke, A good deal. 

Fer. You of course were properly attended ; 
you had good judges of your case ? 

Tyke* They were reckoned so j I did not much 
fancy them myself. — 

Fer, And they said a voyage would save you ? 

Tyke. To a certainty. 

Fer. You must have been transported at the 
news ? 

'Fyke, I was 

Fer, Has it cured you ? (Offering a pinch of 
snuff,) 

Tyke. I don't know, I think I feel some of my 
old symptoms — (Takes the box.) — this is a varry 
pratty box — I've lost mine. 

Fer, Do me the honour to use that — -till — (A- 
part) If he would but keep it I — (Tyke puts it in 
his pocket) — ^^he has — My dear Sir, you have 
doubtless considerable interest with Lord Avon- 
dale. 

Tyke, Why, I believe he would not much like 
to offend me. , 

Fer. Lucky fellow ! — (apart,) — My name, Sir, 
is 'Ferment ; by and by I shall be introduced to 
the peer. — You know business — a word thrown 
in by you would prevent my being in the wrong- 
box — eh? (Tyke winks and nods,) — I apprehend 
you. 

Tyke, You apprehend me, do you ? (Alarmed,) 

Fer, That is, I conceive — I understand — ah, 
Sir, you don't know me. 

Tyke. No, I don't ; and you don't know ifie. 

Fer, Yes I do ; you are a generous disinterest- 
ed gentleman — I can see what others cdn't. 

Tyke, Yes, you can. 



G8 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Enter io/'J Avondale unobserved by Ferment. 

Lord Avon. Ah 1 whom have we here ? {AparU^ 

Fer. As for the peer, you'ii see how I'll ma- 
nage him. I'll worm into his secrets. — I say, 
v^ hich is the weak side — where is he ticklish I 

Tyke. Ticklish ! — I'm sure I never tried. 
Fer. Never mind ; I know, — Between our- 
selves— see the whole man as plain as if he stood 
before me. ( Lord Avondale has placed himself close 
to FermeJit^s chair. J 

Tyke, Why, lor that matter, so do I. 

Fer, I'll soon find the right place to tickle him. 
(Turns rounds sees Lord Avondale at his elbow^ 
■xvho eyes him with sever Jy — Ferinent attempts to 
speak^ but cannot — Lord Avondale advance^^ — Fer- 
tnent escapes at the door where he entered,) 

Lord Avon, Worm into my secrets! — What 
does he mean ? Who is he ? 

Tyke, He calls himself Ferment. 

Lord Avon* I shall remember him. 

Tyke. He gave me this box, to speak a good 
word for him like — he seems but a silly bad sort 
of chap, I think. 

Lord Avon, At present he is not worth a 
thought — for I have received information that 
alarms — distracts me. — Come near — that boy — 
(what a question §oy a parent!) — does he survive ? 

Tyke, I don't know. 

LordA.von, Not know ? 

Tyke. No. 

Lord Avon, V/here did you leave him? 

Tyke, Where did I leave him ? Wh} — Come, 
-come, talk of somthing else. fSee?ns disiurbed,J\ 

Lord Avon, Impossible ! — Have you to human 
being ever tol4 from whom you received that 
child-? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 31 

Tijke. No. 

Lord Ai'on, Then my secret's safe* 
• Tijke. IVe said so. 

Lord Avon. Why that frown? What? not even 
to your father ? 

Tijke. Who! (Smarts.) 

L-jrd Avon, V/hat agitattis you? — You had a 
father. 

Tijke. Had a father ! be quiet, be quiet. (IVcdhs 
about greathj agitated. J 

L^ord Avon. By ihe name of him who indig- 
nantly looks down on us, tell me — 

Tyke, (Striking his forehead. J Say no more 
about that, and you shall hear ail. — Yes, I had a 
father ; and when he heard of my disgrace, ths 
old man walked, we' heavy heart I warrant, all 
the way tld* jail to see me ; and he prayed to hea- 
ven for me — (Pointings but not daring to look up J 
-—just the same as if 1 had still been the pride of 
his heart like. (Speaks with difjicultij.^ and sighs 
heavily, J 

Lord Avon, Proceed. 

Tyke, Presendy. 

Lord Avon, Did you entrust the child to hi^ 
care ? 

Tyke, I did. 

Lord Avon. Do not pause — -you rack me. 

Tyke, Rack you! — well, you shall hear the end 
out. — C meant to tell father all about the child ; 
but, when parting came, old man could not speak, 
and 1 could not speak: — well, they put me oa 
board a ship, and 1 saw father kneeling on the 
shore with the child in his arms. — - 

Lord Avon, Goon. 

Tyke, 'Tis soon said- — (Collecting his forti" 
tudej — When the signal gun for sailing vv^as fired, 
I saw my old father drop down dead— -and some* 



40 THE SCHOOL OF KEFORM. 

body took up the child and carried it away. I felt 
a kind of dizziness ; my eyes flashed fire, the 
felood gushed out of my mouth — I saw no more. 
--^f Sinks exhausted into a chair. J 

Lord Avon, Horrible ■ — What.'' record a father's 
death without a tear ? 

Tyke. Tear 1 Do you think a villain who has a 
father's death to answer for can cry? — No, no, I 
feel a pack of dogs worrying my heart, and my 
eyes on fire — ^but i can't cry. — (^A vacant stare of 
horror,) 

Lord Avon, And is this desolation my work ?- 
Oh repent, repent I 

Tijke, (Starting vp.) For what? is not fa- 
ther dead? — a'n'c I a thief — cursed — hated — 
hunted ? — Why should I be afraid of the devil ? 
doii't I feel him here ? My mouth's parched— 

Lord Avon, Within is wine. 

Tijke, Brandy, brandy I 

Lord JjLVon, Compose yourself — ^follow me— 
you want sleep. 

Tyke, Sleep, ha, ha! under the sod I may. 
C Points down and groans heavily,) 

[Exitjfoliowi?2g Lord AvondaJe, 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 41 



ACT III. 



SCENE I. — A Garden behnt^incr to Mr* Fer- 

IVIENT. 



Enter 3Irs. 1"er m e rt cmd Juli a . 

Mrs, Ferment* 

LOOK, my dear? the '^rindows of Mrs. St, 
Clair's apartment are open, probably we may see 
her. " Pray, where did you first meet this inter- 
'-^ estlng woman t 

" yidia. In the confines of Portugal : she had 
*' been for many years the inhabitant of a convent ; 
**• but, by the fate of war, its institution was dis- 
'* solved, and its members cast upon the charity 
" of the world : we found her in obscurity and in- 
^^ digence, yet possessing jewels and other articles 
" of value, which no aggravation of distress could 
" induce her to part from. She said they were evi* 
*' dences by which she hoped to punish perfidy, 
*•" and assert the innocence of a departed friend. 

*•" Mm, Fer. A departed friend 1 — ah ! her griefs 
" cling so closely to her aching breast, they surely 
" must be her own. 

" Jidia, My father afforded her his protection ; 
*' and I trust, madam, and under your hospitable 
*^ roof she will again, recover her health and tran- 
'^ quiillly.*' 

Jidia* Kere comes her attendant— an Irish 
§irh 

D 2 



42 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

(^Enter Shelah.) 

Well, good Shelah, how is my friend? 

Shelah, Oh I mighty weak, madam, 

Mrs, Fer, I fear her iiKlisposition increases. 

Shelah, 1 hen Heaven keep her as she is, poor 

lady! for fear she grows worse She wishes to 

take a walk out, so I am going to carry a coach 
to her. 

Mrs, Fer, Vi\ take care of that. — Did you re- 
side in the same convent with your lady I 

Shelah, I did, Madam, till the soldiers came 
with their bayonets and turned us all out into the 
wide wicked world, as merry as grigs Madam. — 
(Curtseys,^ 

Mrs, Fer. You doubtless are acquainted with 
Mrs. St. Clair's story ? 

Shelah, I am, Madnm. 

3Irs, Fer, Then pray tell me — 

Shelah. I won't, Madam. — {Curtseying,') 

Mrs, Fer, My faithful girl, believe me, my 
question would not hsive tended to abuse the con- 
fidence placed in you. 

Shelah, I hope not Madam ; for my fidelity is 
all in this world I can call my own, and that's my 
Lady's. 

Mrs, Fer, Accept this as a reward for that fi- 
delity — (Offering 7noney,} 

Shelah. Ah, Madam, and would you be after 
paying me for what is natrouble at all, and what 
I can't help ? — Had I indeed betrayed my dear 
Lady, that would have been a mighty trouble to 
me, and I should have deserved every thing you 
could offer me. Excuse my boldness in refusing 
-^ — my mistress wants me. (Curtseys^ and exit,) 

Julia, Here comes my friend. 

Enter Mrs, St. Clair, leaning on Shtlah, 
Mrs. Fer » Dear Madam'.— 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 43 

juUa, My charming friend ! 

Mrs» St. Clair. Pardon me, but when the mind 
is care-worn, kindness oppresses, and, but that 
the grateful heart can return the tribute of a tear, 
benevolence would oft destroy what it so nobly 
aims to cherish. 

Mrs. Fer. 1 hope to tempt you abroad ; the 
surrounding scenery is esteemed beautify]. 

Mrs, St. Clair. Too well I know its charms — i 
(apart.)— *-SwYt\y the hand of Providence has 
guided me to the place where first I saw a loved, 
but cruel, husband.-Oh Heaven I should he yet live 
and thy unerring finger point to his devoted head 
— first grant me thy justice — .hen let the dispen- 
sations of thy mercy pardon his offences ! 

" Julia. Come, come, you must talk to me — 
" The day is inviting— -the air invigorates the 
" spirits, gives wings to the fancy— the jocund 
" spring is chaunting her matin song, while she 
" gaily waves a chapiet for her mother nature ; 
" and rosy health, encircled by her band of wan- 
" ton zephyrs, beckons you to the upland lawn, 
*' anxious to join you in her happy train> — Dare 
" 3^ou refuse, when 'tis heaven's breath invites?*— 
" Come, come.'' 

Enter Fkederick. 

'Julia. Good morning. Sir! — Mrs. St. Clair-—* 
( Presenting him. ) 

Fred. Lord Avondale, ?vladam, warmly soli- 
citous that his services may contribute to your 
happiness, asks when he may be permitted the 
honour of attending you ? 

Mrs. St. Clair. Express my humble gratitude 
to his Lordship. — All times must equally suit her 
who has in this world but one business — one 
€are. — 



I 



44 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM 

Fred. I shall say so ; and if the efforts of him 
V'h^ addresses you, can serve you Lady, point- 
but the road ; inquiry must pursue, and zeal and 
dilligence will do their best to supply the absence 
of influence or talent. 

Mrs, St. Clair. Oh, Sir ! — Dear girl, speak my 
gratitude. 

Julia. He is already thanked; for the kind 
heart, while prompting the tongue to speak its 
dictates, receives in return the graieful whispers 
of apprfiving virtue. 

Fred. What fascinating sweetness ! — ^but, stern 
duty 1 I obey thee — TVly noble friend begs to lay 
at the feet of his fair bride this offering of his de- 
votion — of his love. — (He trembling presents a 
portrait — she receives it — both remain silent. J 

Mrs, Fer. Upon my honour, this offering seems 
a talisman — it has absolutely chained both your 
tongues. — Why Sir, if an antiquary present to his 
society an old saucer, he makes a bit of a speech 
about it. — Let me see. Why, my love 1 is Lord 
AvondJile so young, and so handsome ? — 

Jtdia. I don't know. — (Pettishly.) 

Mrs. Fer. Well, well; I asked a civil question 
—ha! hal 

Fred. It was painted many years since. 

3Irs. St. Clair. The portrait of the noblcmaa 
who ha^ so kindly interested himself in my behalf? 

Mrs. Fer. Yes ; really a charming man, is he 
not ? (Presenting the picture to Mrs. St. Clair. J 

Mrs. St, Clair. Heaven ! Oh, support me I 
(Faints. J 

Mrs. Fer. She recovers. 

Mrs. St. Clair. A sudden oppression— Where 
is that youth? (Grasps Frederick's hand and speaks 
ivith difftutltijj Are-^you-^his-^son ?. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 45 

Fred. Alas 1 Madam, a poor orphan — the d'ea- 
ture of his bounty. 

3Irs, St, Clair, Has he no son ? 

Fred, None, Madam; his Lordship was never 
married. 

Mrs, St. Clair, I'm sick at heart ; lead me in ; — 
forgive me for ungratefully repelling your kind- 
ness — I mast be alone. 

Fred, May 1 convey to Lord Avondale the pa- 
pers ? — (She waves her hand refu^ingly.J — Shall 
his I^ordship attend f 

Mrs, St, Clair, Never! (To ShelahJ 'Tis he ! 

Shelah, Ah ! 

Mrs, Si, Clair, Hush ! 

[ Exeunt Mrs, St, Clair and SheLh* 

Fred, How changed — how mysterioys — ^how to 
develope ; — ^I:>ut is that my duty ? No, no. 

jfuHa, Dear, dear I I wish I could divert her 
from her solitude ; — I wish— I'll tell you — I wish 
I could purchase for her a pretty low phaeton and 
two little quiet ponies, that I could drive. Sir, 
here is a purse ; and when I considtr that its con- 
tents might have lightened the heart of misery, 
I blush that it has so long remained here a use- 
less burthen. — Will you execute this commission 
for me ? 

Fred. With my best skill. 

Julia, 1 am Kure your sympathising heart will 
convert this trouble to a pic asure. 

Fred, Ah, Lady ! of the cup of flattery we all 
wish to taste; but when it is presented by the 
hand of a Hebe, what fortitude can resist the sweet 
intoxication ? — -(Apart J Ah, perfidious wretch ! 
is this pleading my nobie patron's cause ? — ^I hum- 
bly take my leave. (Boivs and exit, jfulia look& 
after him. J 

Mrs. Fer* So, so ! — my love, that's a gate. 



48 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Julia. Yes, I know 'tis a gate ; but, at that mo- 
ment, my thoughts were — 

Mrs. Fer, On the other side of it — Here comes 
your father, and with him my dear wise husbands 

Enter General Tarragan t7«^ Ferment. 

Mrs, Fer, My dear General, I have something 
very important to tell you, I don't like your 
daughter's intended husband ; and she don't like 
him — and you ought to consult her happiness. 

Gen, Why, don't I consult it ? Zounds, Ma* 
dam, won't her house be besieged by all the 
fashion of London ? Won't she be hated by all 
her female friends? Will she have a moment's 
peace or comfort? What the devil would a wo- 
man have ? 

Julia, You don't love your daughter. 

Gen. Better than any thing in the world, ex- 
cept my regiment. 

Mrs, Fer, Then don't transfer her duty, w^her^ 
she can't serve with pleasure — unless the heart be- 
a volunteer, mutiny and desertion will follow — 
consider a woman like a soldier. 

Gen, I hope, Maciurn, you won't compare a wo- 
man to — 

Mrs. Fer, Yes, Sir; to the best grenadier iq 
your van : fvr, like him, she is pretty sure to con- 
quer. 

Gen, Indeed ! Now, I think a woman is more 
like a soldier left in the rear. 

3Irs, Fer. Ay ; why t 

Gen, Because he generally has a devilish deal 
of the baggage about him. Let them take that. 
(^Tb Ferment. J 

Fer. I say — she seems in a rare humour: sup- 
pose you speak to her now about her silence to mei 

Gen, I will. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 47 

Fer, You promised, you know, to put an end 
to it for ever. 

Gen. I'il do it in a minute for you, and make 
her own she's wrong. 

Fe7\ Do, my dear cousin ; now's the time. 

Gen. To be sure — Madam, I am g<jing to ask 
a favour. 

3Iri>. Fer, Then, in other words, General, you 
are going to procure me a gratification. 

Gen. (To Ferment, J You hear. — Pdadam, we 
have aU our little foibles. 

3Irs, Fer, If you allude to mine, pray call them 
faults. — Come ! what are the)' ? and how may I 
correct them? 

Gen, (To Ferment^') I told you how easy it was I 

Fer, Thank you 1 — chank you 1 — Now for it I 

Gen. Why, then, Madam, my cousin complains 
of a certain reserve — you understand — a gium 
kind of a silence ; and when I consider that man is 
— a man, wh}', 1 own, 1 am at a loss for your rea- 
sons, and wait to hear them. — Now mind her an- 
swer. (To Ferment. J — And, as I said belore, 
wait to hear them. — (Faiiat — he confused, J — 
You know we can argue the matter pleasartiv .— 
(Pause — he more confounded. j — Because want of 
temper, in such a case, is — Eh \-—( Fau.se — he be- 
comes irritated.) — Upon my soul, Madam, I must 
say— (^'/je holds up her hands to stop hini) — well. 
Madam — very well — I've done ; and now let's 
hear — [She takes Julia's hand and curtocys.'-—> 
They exeunt.) 

Fer. Well, you've settled it I 

Gen. Eh? {ctbashed.^ 

Fer, You've done it I 

Gen. Yes, yes ; you sec she had not a word ia 
say for herself. 



48 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Fer. No, but you forgot to make her own she 
was wrong. 

Gen, But silence gives consent, you know. 

Fer. (Sighing?) 'Tis very pleasant ! — Is not it ? 

Gen, Oh, 'tis the devil 1 — Curse it! 'tis as bad 
as fightiPig without a drum. 

Fer. I'll fijrget her. 

Gen, That's right ! — And now we'll go to Lord 
Avondale's and I'll introduce you. 

Fer. And forget her ! — But, my dear cousin, 
every thing dtpends on the manner. — Now will 
you do it my way ! — I have a plan. — I'll instruct 
you as we go along — and never think of her. 

Gen, No, never. — 

Fer, I tell you what — poor creature I — I pity 
her about you I 

Gen, Yes, atcl what's more, I pity you. 

Ftr. No, no ? 

Gen. Yes, I do pity you, upon my soul ! 

For, No, no ! 

Gen, But I do, though. [Exeunt, 

SCENE IL — An Apartment in Avarulale Castle^ 

« 

Enters Mrs, Nicely, folloived by an old Man, 

Mrs. Nicely, Walk in, walk in, — Are you ill ? 

Old M(in, Feeble 1 — very feeble i 

Mrs, Nicely, And Unhappy^ 

67cOf«;?. Ah, Madam 1 

Mrs, Nicely, Come, come ; tell me who you 
are, and all about it. 

Old Man, i was a tensnt of Lord Avondale's 
father. 

" 3Irs, Nicely, I don't remember you ; but that's 
'' no wonder — my memory is bad. 

" Old Man. Alas I mine, too, is cruelly treacher- 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 49 

" ous ; for sometimes. Madam, I foolishly stand 
" knocking at my door, forgetting that I have nei- 
*' ther wife nor child to open it. And then, at 
" meals, I often help them ; and when I find they 
" are not there, you may suppose I cannot eat. 
ClVeeps.J 

" Mrs, Nicely, Your wife, then, is dead? 

" Old Man. Many years since ; but she left me 
'' a son 1" 

Mrs. Nicely, Well, that w^as a comfort ! 

Old Mail, Ah, no ! a profligate son, who put 
thorns into my pillow, and wore furrows irf my 
cheeks ! I neither expected nor hoped to survive 
his shame, but Heaven willed it otherwise. I em- 
plo3'ed a gentleman of the law, who always falsely 
flattered me he would obtain a remission of the 
sentence my boy was condemned to suffer. The 
expences I have, for years, vainly endeavoured to 
pay, and now a prison opens to receive these aged 
limbs. — But it matters not much where they lie ! 

Mrs. Nicely. But it does matter a great deal, 
though. — To shelter age and infirmity is a sacred 
duty, and woe be to them who neglect it ! 

Old 3Ian. Having heard that Lord Avondale 
-has returned to this countiy, I have walked here, 
in the hope he will pity an old man's sorrows.—- 
Here is a paper, which will explain. 

3Irs* Nicely. He shall have it. — Go into my 
room, and take some thing to refresh you, and 
come again to-morrow. 

Old Man, I'm very troublesome. 

Mrs. Nicely. Nonsense ! — troublesome, indeed ! 
• — come very often, I shall always be very glad to 
see you, when it is not dirty. — Troublesome, in- 
deed ! [Exeunt Old Man and Mrs, Nicely, 

E 



50 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM, 

Enter Lord Avondale. 
Lord Avon, Within, there I 

{Enter Peter.) 

Find Frederick, and send him to me. 

Peter* Yes, my Lord. — General Tarragan 
waits. 

Lord Avon, Introduce him. 

Peter. And Mr. Ferment. 

Lord Avon, Who? 

Peter, The General is accompanied by Mr. 
Ferment, your Lordship's neighbour. 

Lord Avon, Ferment I — ah, I recollect that 
gentleman's honourable intentions, and shall, of 
course, reward them. — Well, show them in here. 
[Exit, 

Enter General Ta^rragan and Ferment. 

Peter, Gentlemen, his Lordship will wait on 
you immediately. 

Fer, You mentioned my name. 

Peter, Mr. Ferment. 

Fer, That's right ; you're a fine fellow ! fExit 
i^eter,) Now, my dear General, are you perfect ? 

Gen, Yes, yes 1 

Fer^ But, consider, 'tis the most important e- 
Vent ! — an epoch 1 — a crisis ! — 'the very acme — 

Gen, Well, I'll introduce you in your own words. 

Fer, But do say them again — ' My Lord, give 
me leave'— -now do indulge me — I'm his Lord- 
ship — now begin — ^* My Lord, give — * 

Gen, Well, wellj be quiet. — ' My Lord, give 
ipe leave to present you this — ' 

Fer, Bravo ! 

Gen. Bravo ! — I thought it was gentleman i 

Fer* To be sure I 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 51 

Gen, Then don't put me out — ' this gentl<"man, 
whose wishes, hopes, and ambition, centre in a 
zeal for your Lordship's service.' 

Fcr. Vastly well I — Now — ' I doubt not. Gene- 
ral, but his talents and virtues will command my 
esteem.' — That he'il say of course. 

Gen, You think so. 

Fei: I'hlnk -so ! — don't I know ? — -Yixi only 
mind what you liave to say yourself. — ^ Command 
my esteem.'- — Now — 

Gen. Be quiet ! — ^ To accomplish that darling 
object wilLbe the sole aim of his life.' 

Fer. Very well 1 — '' Then I receive him as my 
'* friend. 

" Gen, In doing that, my Lord, you will con- 
^* fer on me an everlasting obligation." 

Fer. Oh, thank you, my dear cousin ! — fern' 
bracing J — Then I pour forth such a torent of elo- 
quence — the awful moment's at hand ! — he comes ! 
I'm all agitation ! hope — 

f Enter Lord Avo-sDA-L-E.y ^ 

(Prompting General) My Lord, give me leave — 

Gen. Damn it, be quiet 1 — -My: Lord, give vcm 
leave to present this-— 

Fer, Beautiful ! 

GeJi. Beautiful gentleman ! — no->-this gentle- 
man-"don't put me out — whose wishes, hopes, 
and ambition, centre only in a zeal for your Lord- 
ship's service.— (^ 7/16" General only attending to 
what he is to say next, J — 

Lord Avon, I already know the object of his 
zeal ; it is to insinuate himself into my confidence, 
most honourably to worm into my secrets. 

Gen, To accomplish that darling object will be 
the sole aim of his life. 

Lord Avon, Indeed! Then, General, with your 



52 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

permission, 1 shall order a servant to show him 
the door. ^ 

Gen. In dcing that, my Lord, j'ou will confer 
©n me an everlasting obligation. 

[Exit Lord Avondale. 
{FeiinenCln agonies.') Perfect to a letter I — there, 
I've done for you ! 

Fer, Yf s, you've done for me I 

Geii, Well, I seldom praise myself ; but if that 
was not what it ought to be — What 1 is his Lord-* 
ship gone ? 

Fer. Gone ! — Zounds ! did not you hear what 
he said ? 

Gen. No, not I ; you told me not to mind.— ^ 
What, v/rcng again ? eh, Ferment I 

Fer, Blockhead ! to trust to such an old — -it 
you know as little aboiit war — -(IValks about irri- 
tated. J 

Gen, What's that you say ? (Follorving him. J, 

Fer» Sir, I'll say what I please. — I'm roused, 
and would advise vou to be careful. 

Gen. Ob, I can take a hint I 

Fer. What ! do you talk to me of hints ? — any 
tVmg to sav to «ie-"Speak out like a mian. 

Geh. Will you fight? 

Fer, No, S'r, I Vy-on't ! — Damn it, Fil show a 
proper spirit here. • ' ' 

Ge?2. Do you sec this tafie ? 

Fer. That for^ yourcrlneV ' '(Snapping his fng- 
f /•.?.) Don't think you have one of those to deal 
v/ith who, because they have not manly fortitude 
enough to bear a fev/ knocks, run into Hyde Park 
—load piitols — fire in the air — shake hands. — 
Pretty courage !— No, no ! 

Gen. (Jndignantlu.) Sir, I ask your pardon. 

Fer. Sir, I'm satisfied. (Grasping his hand.) 

Gen. But, zounds 1 — 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 53 

Fe'i\ Sir, I won^t hear another word 1 — You 
have asked my pardon — pity nobodv hears — you 
have asked my pardon, and there's an end.— Do 
you suppose I want you to go on your knees 1 

Enter Peter, -who vohiapers General* 

Gen, Immediately 1 — Oh, very well ? 

Ftr» Duelling, indeed i — Pohaw. 

Gen. Why, true ; — ^''cis but poor, shabby work 
*— -a mere snack : but in glorious war — damme ! 
there's cut and come again ! — Good bye, Ferment. 
— I say, ^ My Lord, give me leave' — Oh, you're 
a beautiful gentleman 1 — Ha ! ha ! \_Exit G-n, 

Fer. Oh, I could cry ! — (situ down') — Pretty 
figure I shall make when 1 go home ! (^Peter bows) 
What's the matter with you ? What are you 
bobbing your head at me for — Eh ? 

Peter, I wait your commands, Sir. 

Fer, I've no commands for you, my honest fel- 
low 1 

Peter. Yes, Sir, you certainly have. (^Bozvsy 
and points to the door.) 

Fer, Have I ? — (j'ises) — Your name's Thomas \ 

Peter. No, Sir, Peter. 

Fer, Ah, Peter 1 you never come to see ray 
Timothy, Peter ! 

Peter. No, Sir, I never intrude. {Pointing to 
the door. J 

Fer, Don't you, Peter ! 

Peter. A pleasant walk to youl {Pjinting.) 

Fer. Thank you, Peter. — Lived long here ? 

Peter, Yes, Sir, and hope to live here much 
onger. 

Fer, I don't wonder at it, Peter. 

Peter, A good morning, Sir. 

Fer, A last look! — Oh?—. {Exeunt. 

fi 2 



54 IHE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Enter Lord Avondale anel General Tarragan-. 

Lord Avon. Not see me ? 

Gen, No,' my Lord. 

Lord Avon, Not trust the papers and evidences 
in my possession ? 

Gen, No. — I don't understand it. 

Lord Aeon. What do they contain ? 

Gen, Why, as she tells me, certificates of mar- 
riage and baptism, letters, jewels — in short, as 
complete a chain of evidence as justice could de- 
sire. 

Lord Avon, I rejoice to hear it. — Distraction ! 
— Where are these papers ? 

Gen, I can't say. — I suppose in Ferment's cus- 
tody. 

Lord Aivon, Ah! — Wi-hin, there ! {Enter Pe- 
ter,^ Run, directly, and leli tnat gentleman to 
return. [^Ec<lt Peter. 

General, I'll follow you. I fear I was rather 
harsh to your fnend. 

Gen, Why, he's harmless : and if he did not 
pretend to see twice as 'ar as other folks, he might 
have credit for seeing irdf as far. — Hal — ha 1 — A 
mere b'ar»k cartridge, iiiy Lord ; makes a bit of a 
bounce and a splutter, .uid ends in smoke. [Exit, 

Enter Flument, abashed. 

Lord Avon, Sir, I ask pardon for giving you 
the trouble of returning. 

Fer, Oh 1 no trouble, my Lord : I had only 
got to thi:: oiher side of the door. 

Lord Avon. Give me your hand, Sir. 

Fer. {running up to him.) Oh, my Lord. 

Lord Avon, Grant me your pardon, and allow 
jne a place in your esteem. 

FeTx My Lord, you — ^you overpower me. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 55 

Lord Avon, The fatigue of business, the many 
cares that press on me, teaze and — 

Fcr. To be sure — I know — papers to read — 
all those drawers full, I dare say. — Oh, I wish I 
was up to the elbows amoiig them I 

Lord Avon. I understand, Sir, Mrs. St. Clair 
has intrusted to you certain documents. 

Ler. In mv house, mv Lord, but not in my 
custody. — And leave me alone to expose to the 
whole world the villain who has basely deserted 
his wife and child. 

Lord Avon, Rascal I (Apart. J 

Fer, Oh, I'm getting on here surprisingly. 

t^Apar'.) 

LoYdAvon. (Apart. ) I must know where they 
are concealed — I never had the pleasure of seeing 
vour villa — if a visit would not be deemed im- 
pertinent- 



Fer, Impertinent ! — My dear Lord, the ho- 
nour that — I'll go and prepare. (Going.) 

Lord Avon. No, no, we must not part. — You 
must dine with me. 

Fer. Dine I — My boy you have done it (£x» 
ult'ingly. 

Lord Avon, (To servant.) Go to Mr. Fer- 
ment's- — say he dines with me. 

Fcr, {Affecledhj.) Yes, say I dine with his 
Lordship ; and they must do without me as well 
as they can. And tell my wife, if she has any 
thing to say — >vhv, she must wait till I come 
home. 

Lord Avon. Come sir. (Offering his hand,) 

Fer. Oh, my Lord I — Peter, you see how it is, 

\Exeunt% 



56 THE SCHOOL .OF REFORM, 

SCENE IIL--Inside of a Coitagc^Tcihle, and 
Candle burninp; on it, — Old Man seated^ Inn 
Handkerchief to his Eyes — Txuo Bailiffs stand- 
ing near him. 

Bail, Come, come, Sir, we shall be late. 
Old Man. C Rising.) I am ready. But your 
employer might have given me a little more time. 
I had presented a petition to a nubleman, and 
perhaps, in a day or two — Well, well, now to a 
prison. — 'Tis hard ! 

Bail, Why, master, our business, at best, is 
not a very pleasant one ; but if we had to answer 
for those we deal v/ith, none but a devil would 
be a bailiff. 

Old 3Ian, Reach rue my hat, and let me take 
something to comfort me. (Opens adraxver^ and 
takes out a book, J 

Bail, Aye, v/e'll take a drop of that with you 
— What 1 a book ? 

Old Man, Yes, of devotion ! And had your em- 
ployer tasted of its spirit, he would have turned 
the cup of bitterness from the lips of the afflicted. 

Bail, Why, that may be ; but rem.ember, old 
gentleman, that for one unfeeling creditor, we get 
hold of a hundred hard-hearted debtors, who, to 
have twenty dishes on their own table, will pre- 
vent twenty honest men from having one upon 
theirs. 

Old Mm, Aye, that's true I — that's very true 1 
— It grows late — -I cannot walk very fast. 

Bail, Then the sooner we set out the better. 

Old Man, 1*11 do my best. 

Bail, Come, we'll help you. 

Fred, (Without,) Hollo! 

Bail, Come in. > 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 57 

{Enter Frederick.) 

Fred. Good people, I have mistaken my waj'. 
Pra)' inform me v/hich road leads to the castle ? 

Bail. Why, if you mean York castle, we can 
show you, for v/e are going there. 

Fred. To a prison 1-— Are you, Sir, in the cus- 
tody of these men ? 

Old Man. Alas 1 

Fred. Good Heaven ! 

Bail, Why, is it so very singular that an old 
man, past work, should be behindhand in the 
world ? 

Fred. No, but I hope 'tis singular that he should 
"^uffer for it. — -To prison, but not to-night. (BailiJ 
j^ hakes his head. J Defer his fate but till the morn- 
ing — on my word, I'll return. 

Bail. Young gentleman, we must do our duty, 
and words won't do. — If you choose to pay fifty 
pounds, indeed — 

Fred. Alas ! I have not — ah, this purse ! — for 
vrhat was it intended ?--to allow a lady to breathe 
the air more commodiously — if applied here it 
may prevent age and infirmity from perishing in 
a dungeon's noxious vapour : — 'tis Rot mine ; but 
will not Julia thank nie ? and will not my industry 
soon supply it ?- — •How have you incurred thij* 
debt ? 

Old Man. In endeavouring to restore a lost son 
to his fond father's arms. 

Fred. Ah, in the sacred cause of paternal love ! 
— ^here, take the money ! and v/ith it take the 
thanks of him whose cheek v/as ne'er bedew'd by 
a father's precious tear. — fWecpsJ — Come, your 
demand ? 

Bail. Nay, your honour ! we do but obey or- 
ders J but if the gentleman can pay, why, Lawy<;v 



58 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Claw desired us to be quite civil ;— ind so as 
there's plenty of money— 'vhy, another time — ► 
('Frederick gives rnoneuj — Thank you, Sir.— - 
——Good night, old gentleman ; and I hope, for 
your sake, that we may nev^cr meet again. 

[^Exit Bal/J^s. 

Old Man, Surely this was sent by an an angel ! 

Fred, It was indeed 1 — An angel who will smile 
on her minister, when, to her pitying ear, he tells 
the story. 

Tyke, CWithoiU.J Aye, a comely kind of lad. 

Bail, (IVithout.J Why, there's such a one in 
that cottage. 

Enter Tyke, running. 

Tyke. Aye, there he is, sure enough I— -I say, 
young fellow, run off *tid castle as fast as you can, 
'—His Lordship's quite in a taking— all the ser- 
vants after you. 

Fred, Which road ? 

Tyke, To the right. — Come, be sharp!— be 
sharp ! 

Fred. Farewel ! ("taking old matins hand J ; and 
doubt not but Heaven lias in store a blessing to re- 
ward thy virtues ! — Come, come, be of good cheer. 
•—I'll see you soon again. \_Exit, 

Old Man, Pray, Sir, who is that generous youth ? 

Tyke. -Why, he's a kind of foreman like, to 
Lord Avondale — my friend. 

Old 3Ian, Are you a friend of that worthy no- 
bleman ? 

Tyke, Yes — between ourselves — I have him 
under my thumb ;---but I say that our confidence 
you understand.— That's a smartish purse you've 
got there ; but, I tell you what, I don't think it is 
very safe, just now. 

Old 3Ian, Indeed, Sir 1 — You alarm me ! 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 59 

Ttfke, I tell you what— I'll take care of this for 
you. (Takes the purse.) 

Old Man, Well, Sir, you are very kind.- -You 
live at the castle ? 

Ty.ke, Yes, yes ! 

Old Man, Then, perhaps, you could aid a peti- 
tion I have presented to his lordship — my name 

Tyke* - V/ell, well, let's hear your name. 

Old Man. Robert Tyke ! 

Ti/ke, Eh ! — what ! — speak !— no, don't ! 

Old Man, Robert Tyke I 

Tyke, (Treijibling violently ^ rushes to the table ^ 
brings down the candle^ looks at the old mant dashes 
(fandle and purse on the ground^ and tears his hair 
in agony.) Oh villain I villain ! 

Old Man, What's the matter ? 

Tyke. Don't you know mc ? 

Old Man, No, Sir. 

Tyke. I'm glad on't ! — I'm glad on't ! — Ruin 
my own father ! 

Old Man, Ah ! did I hear rightly ?— Father ! 
— What] — Oh ! let me see — let me see ! {Tyke^ 
-with a countenance strongly impressed xvith shame 
and horror^ turns round,) Ah ! it is my son !— - 
my long lost, dear, profligate, boy ! Heaven be 
thanked 1 Heaven be thanked ! 

Tyke, (Groaningy strikes his breast,) Oh ! burst, 
burst, and ease me i Eh! — but he's i-live — fa- 
ther's alive ! — Ha, ha ! (^laughs hysterically,) 

Old Man, You terrify me, Robert, Robert, hear 
me ! — Tak;.- my forgiveness—take my blessing 1 

Tyke, Whai ! — forgive — ble ss-^such a rogue 
as- — :^bursts into a^ood of tears,) 

Old Man. Be composed. 

Tyke, Let me cry ; it tloes me good, father — 
ft does me good. 



60 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 



Old Man. Ob ! if there be holy water, it surely 
is the sinnt^r's tears. 

Tijke, Bat he's alive ! [rushes into his artnsS) 

Old Mail, Aye ! alive to comfort and pardon 
thee, my poor prodigal — and Heaven will pardon 
thee ! 

Tykr. No don't say that, father, because it can't. 

Old I\Ia7i. It is aii merciful. 

Tyke. Yes, I know it is, I know it Would if it 
could — ^}3Ut not me ! — No, no I ^ 

Old Man. Kneel down and asl its mercy. 

Tyke. 1 dare — father — I dare not ! — Oh, if I 
durst but just thank it for thy life ! 

Old Man, Angels v/ill sing for joy. 

Tyke, What, may I, think you ? — ^may I — may 
I ? {By degrees he tremblingly falls on his knees^ 
clasps his hands in energetic devotion. — The cut^^ 
tainfalls.^ 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 61 



i 



ACT IV. 



SCENE I. — Enter FER:^iEST^fo Hewed by Timo- 
thy. 

Ferment, 

WHAT does your mistress say ? 

Tim, Why 1 suppose she'll obey your com- 
-mands, Sir. 

Fer. Yes, I know — she said she would come 
directly. 

Tim, No, not quite, Sir. 

Fer, AVhat did she say ? 

Tim, Why she said plump she would not. 

Fer. Confusion ! 

Tim, f Apart. J Yes ; there's plenty of that in 
this house. 

Fer, But, yet, I'll condescend to introduce her 
to Avondale Castle. Yes, yes, I'll take her under 
my wing, poor woman !— Timothy, go and pre- 
pare the sociable. 
^ T/m, The sociable ! — for whom. Sir ? 
? Ftr, For my wife and myself. 

Tim, What I together in a sociable ! What 
that's so comiortable ! Ecod 1 it shall be ready in 
a minute. [Exit, 

1 Fer, But 'tis devilish hard to come home in tri- 
umph, overflowing with exultation, and no one to 
partake in my jo)' — not a word of congratula- 
tion — 




fe THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

{Enter Shelah.) 

How do you do ? how do you do ? 

Shelah. Oh 1 thank you, Sir— ~I hope your hon- 
our is well, 

Fer, Now, she'll talk to me ! — What, you've 
been pulling a poesy— 

Shelah. For my dear mistress, Sir. But, oh ! 
she's unhappy ; and in that case, as I have read in 
an Irish poetry book., — the perfume ot flowers will 
not please the eye-— the peaceful silence of even- 
ing does not charm the ear — ^iior heavenly dreams 
refresh the mind, which cannot take repose. 

Fer» Pray, my dear, did you meet my wife ? 

Shelah, No, Sir. — Oh, what a happy man you 
are ! — 

Fer. Am I ? 

Shelah* To have a wife so handsome, and such 
^ sweet spoken lady. 

Fer, Is she l 

Shelah, Oh .' to hear her talk is delightful ! — 

Fer, Delightful, is it ? — Indeed I — Now would 
not this drive a man mad ? C Throws himself into 
<? chair.) 

Shelah. Any thing the matter ? — Are you ill. 
Sir I Can I offer any consolation ? 

Fer, Eh ! what ? Can you off'er consolation ?-— 
(jfumps up,^} — Egad I've hit it ! — Suppose I try to 
make my wife jealous ? — 'Tis a brilliant thought, 
and here's a very pretty subject I — If that won't 
untie her tongue, the devil's in't. — 'Tis a mon- 
strous fine thought '.—What shall I say, tho' :' — I | 
■»-I — you— you — we-'-we— eh ! '' 

Shelah, What's the matter ? Are you dying ? 

Fer, I am— with love for you, my darling ! 

Shelah. (^Alarmed.') Sir ! i 

S'er, You are a divine creature, and I am a man 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 63 

of honour and secrecy. Don'c be terrified, my lit- 
tle trembler 1 

Skelah. And is it yourself would take advantage 
of a poor weak girl? {She pushes him from her 
w.'th great force : he fails into a chair.) Oh ! oh I 
{Sue zveeps.) 

Fer. Zounds 1 (j-ecoverlng) don't weep, my an- 
gel : behold me at your feet I 

Shelah. And is it that you want your throat cut 
by my Uitle brother Samson, that you dare insult ? 
Ris®, Sir ! (^ferks him up violently.) 

Fer* Zounds 1 no 1 — Crubbing hifi shoulder,) 
Hush ! Damn it, 'tis all a fetch. 'Tis only to 
make my wife jealous ! — Don't howl so. — I'll ex- 
plain.-*— / wish to take advantage of your weak- 
ness ! {rubbing his shoulder,) Oh Lord 1 not I.— 
Here comes my wife. — Now, do humour the 
thought, that's a good soul I and, if I should offer 
to kiss you, now don't knock me down, that's a 
dear little girl 1 (^He gallants in dumb shoxo.) 
Filter Mrs, Ferment. 

Mrs, Fer, Heavens ! what do I see ?— Sir ! 

Fer, Madam ! 

Mrs. Fer, Am I thus insulted ?— - 

Fer, Silence ! 

Mrs, Fer, Sir, I shall not be silent ; and I say-^ 

Fer, I know what you would say— you would 
say your love is wounded — but I say I don't care 
that for your lovt. — 

JIrs, Fer, This usage— 

Fer, Is not to be bone, you say j but I say, you 
must bear much more. 

Mrs, Fer, What I won't you hear mc ? 

Fer, No, Ma'am. You are always chattering; 
and you know I despise the paltry prattle of the 
sex, so let me have mute obedience.— 



*» 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Mrs, Fer, Inhuman! was ever woman so iti:* 
suited ? 

Fer. (Apart.) Charming ! 

Mrs. Ftr. I, that have made your real happiness 
the study of my life — 

Fer. JDehghtful ! 

Mrs. Fer. I, that have had that confidence in 
your love, that nothing but the evidence of my 
senses — Cruel man 1 have I deserved this l — - 
ho ! — (Weeps. J 

Fer. It will do, it will do 1 

Mrs. Fer, (Overhears h'nnj turns to Shelak^ 
who explains in dumb show\ and exit. J Is it so? 

Fer. Well, I hope 50U have done with your silly 
idle complainings ? (Pause. J — Hold your tongue, 
Madam ! (Paw>e.J — Why don't you hold your 
tongue .'' (Pause.) — Not but what I v/ould con- 
descend to hear what ycu complain of — justice 
demands that — ^but don't be tedious. ( Pause. J--^ 
Damme but sne's dumb again ! — Dry your tears, 
my darling Fanny, and I'll convince you that my 
love is still — 

3Irs. Ftr. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Fer. What do you laugh at. Madam ? 1';! give 
ycu a hundred pounds to tell me what you laugh 
Jit. i'il— I've done with you : and if tver I open 
these lips to you again, may all the 

Mrs, Fer. George 1 

Fer. Oh 1 that voice—how it soothes I my 

love ! 

3irs. Fer. Go ! 

Fer. Go ! go where ? what do you mean by go? 
(^Panse.) — Yes, I will go to the world's end. (Go- 
ing-, returns,)- — No, I v/on't go. (S/ts down.) — 
And now I should like to hear what vou can sav. 
(She retires.) — What, then, you'll gc^ ? — very 
well, Madam 1 — good bye to you! — won't yon 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 65 

say good bye ? (Exit Mrs. Ferment,) — Won't 
you say — you wou't say good bye ? (Bawling 
after her, J — Furies ! Devib ! Let discord reiga 
for ever i Oh ! — 

Enter Timothy. 

Tim. The sociable's ready, Sir. 
Fer, Stand out of my way, you rascal ! or ril— i 

lExi't^ driving oJfTmothij, 

SCENE II The Pavilion. 

Enter SnELAH zvith caution : she looks' about. 

Shelah, Madam, you may approach j there is no 
one here. 

Enter Mrs. St. Clair. 

Mrs, St Clair. Ah, do I again behold the place 
which gave me birih ; where I fondly gamboled 
round my parents' knees ? — Oh I could their kind 
hearts have known the sorrows their child was 
doomed to suffer 1 — Alas I how changed I For the 
lowly cottage, I see the gaudy palace 1 'Stead of 
the modest woodbine, tangling its ligaments in 
the humble thatch, and giving sweeaiess to the 
breath of nature — behold the proud exotic, in sul- 
len majesty shedding its feverish perfume I — just 
emblem of its imperious master 1 

Shelah. Imperious ! Give him his true tide — a. 
villain. 

Mrs. St. Cl'iir. No, no. 

Shelah. What ! is he not going to be married 
again ? 

Mrs, St. Clair, Nay, — ^}'ou know he thinks me 

I 2 



66 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

dead. — Ah! what do I see? — that cabinet l^ — it 
^vas mine — ';t contained— -Are we observed f 

Shelah. No, dear lady. 

Mr^i. St. Clair. If I am r^ght, the secret spring 
will unfold — Qouchinv it. the doors open^ and dh' 
covers a portrait of Mrs, St. Clair in a Spanish ha- 
bit^ her right hand pointing to the ring on her ^eft.^ 

Shelah, Sure, ^nd 'tis your own sweet self ! — and 
in the dress you have v/ith such care preserved ! 

Mrs. St. Clair, Yes ; the belter to conceal our 
tnarriage, I assumed the dress of the country.— 
Oh, memory 1 thou torturer of the wretched ! why 
dost thou whisper to this aching heart - — :hat I was 
then a happy mother and a ^ wife ? Now — yet 
some consolation steals into my breast — ^perhaps 
he has raised this to my memor} — perhaps he 
sometimes sits here alone, and to my wrongs pays 
the tribute of a repenting tear : — but then my lit- 
tle cherub — my darling boy — torn from my breast 
-— ibandf ned — lost 1 — can a mother pardon that \ 
— no, never, ntver. — Yet I'll save him from a fur- 
ther crime ! — but how ? — Ah,thatdresb ! — !tsh;\ll 
be so !- — Yes : at an awful moment he shall again 
bf hold an injured wife — shall hear a mother's 
nioe^iu-, — dien see me leave him, and the world, 
for evtr. 

Shelah. Oh, then, dear lady, take me with you ! 

Mrs, St. Clair. Ah ! we're surprised! — X hear 

footstep!^ 

Siielah. (Runs and closes the cabinet. J Don't be 
alarmed. I'his wa}' — this way. Exeunt* 

Enter Lord Avoi^'DA'LE.folloived by Ms, Nicely, 

learinz a small box. 

Lord Avon. Set it down. I hope the weight 
has not fatigued you I 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 67 

Mrs, N-cehf. No, no, 'tis not heavy ; and when 
the heart's light the body's nimhle, be it t ver so 
old — ha, ha ! 

Lord Avon I am glad to see you so merry. 

Mrs, Nicslij. Ah ! a clean house and a clean con- 
science will make any one merry, 

jL^/t/ Avon, Heigh ho ! — I have not forgot the 
petition. 

Mrs. Nitely, Oh, my Lord, 'tis all settled,-—. 
Mr. Frederick, Heaven hie s him ! saved the old 
mar — he has gained the love of every hody. 

Lord Avon,' I rejoice to hear it.— 

Mrs. NIC' ill. Indeed !• — hut I fancv vou won't 
be glad to hear that he has gained the love of one 
who — 

Lord Avon. What mean you? 

Mrs. Nice hj. Why, if I know what eyes say, 
Miss Julia and he — < 

Lord Avon, Ah! 

Mr^ Nkdij, They just look as you and poor 
Emily used to do.—— 

Lord Avon. Oh, spare me ! spare me ! fa knock' 
hig at the door. J — See who is there. fMrs. Nice' 
ly goes out and returns.) 

Mrs, Nicely. 'Tis the young man who comes 
here by your appointment. \_Exit, 

I^ord Avon. Shew hirn in. — Tis plain 1 am sus- 
pected ! — And shall the name of Avondale be- 
come the sport of foes — the jest of fools ? — No, 
no ! — It is determined ! — These evidences of my 
shame must, shall be mine! — Mow to my purpose ! 
(He unlocks the box and takes out a cloak^ a mask^ 
and pistol- On hearing some one approach^ he covers 
the pistol with the cloak. J— -This fellow will be a 
lit instrument to effect \u 



68 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

(Enter Tyke.) 

{Beckons Tyke to approach — turning round is sur- 
prised at his appearance^ -which is changed into a 
plain but very neat dress,] — Astonishing ! can this 
be the man l 

Tyke. No, It is not ; — I be quite another man 
to da) — ha ! ha ! 

Lord Avon, Why do you laugh ? 

Tyke. Why I laugh, my Lord, because I've 
been crying. Ha! ha ! I say, Fve found old man — 
father's alive — he I he 1 and, do you know, he says 
positive sure Heaven will forgive me ; and I de- 
clare, I somehov/ feel so warm and comfortable, 
that, between you and me, i should not at ail won- 
der, if it had already. 

Lord Avon. You thougiityour father dead ? 

7\jke, Yes, and he thought so himself, poor man 1 
liUt it was really what you gentry call a fine — a 
fmenomenun — You understand, that the ironmon- 
ger who made tackle for our Itgs picked father up, 
got life Into him again, and took him up to Lun- 
non, and just advertised in News the antedcte a«' 
bout his case ; and, would you believe it! next 
morning fine ladies intheir own coaches camctid' 
old man, we' tears in their pratty eyes, and bank- 
notes in tluir pratty hands to a matter of forty 
pound — Now I've just one commentation to mak 
on this matter : — I've seen your player show folks, 
and su(.h-like wiggtiing and waggeling, and chat- 
tering about London pride, and London profliga- 
tion, and what not — Now I think, if one of them 
wasj.ist to set about talking a little of London 
kindheartedness ard London charity, it would be 
rather more truerer, and quite as becoming. 

Lord Avon, Tell me, knows he aught of that 
boy ? 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 60 

Tyke, What ! your son ? — no, never could hear 
a word about him — Ah ! could we but make him 
out now, then mayhap your Lordship would try 
your hand at a bit ot a laugh : — let me once see 
him — Fil find him out directly. 

Lord yJvon, Ah ! 

Tyke, That is, if I know 'tis him — you imder- 
stand. 

Lord Avon, Pshaw ! 

Tyke. Because I put a mark upon him. 

Lord Avon. Indeed ! 

Tyke, Oh yes, I managed it right enough. 

L'yrd Avon, Explain, 

Tyke, Why, you know, before you were a Lord, 
your name was Mr, Philip ; so I got some gun- 
powder and marked F on his neck, because F 
stands for Philip — yes yes — it struck me as proper. 

Lord Avon, Come hither, Robert, — I sent for 
you to — (Jocks at the cloak) — to tell you — .that- 
thai you possess my regard— 

Tyke, Thank you, my Lord. 

Lord Avon, And may command my patronage 
and protection. 

Tyke, And 3^ou mine — .quite mutual, I assure 
vou. 

Lcrd Avon. You can confer on me happiness. 

Ti'ke. Why no, sure. 

Lord Avon, By putting mc in possesion of cer- 
tain evidences, you can save me from ruin. 

Tyke, What ! can I tho' ? — IM go through wa- 
ter or fire, or any diing — Come, let's begin — -How 
•—where ? 

Lord Avon, Look under that cloak-— it will ex- 
plain the means. 

Tyke, I will — he 1 he ! — I declare I'm as hap- 
py as — (lifis up the cloak., sees a pistol and mask^ 
then trembling drops the cloak,) 



70 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Lord Avon. Cca'xhing his hand, J You know the 
use of those ? 

Tyke, I do. 

Lrjrd Avon, You must employ them^ 

Ti/ke. Hash I f still trembling. J 

Lord Avon, What alai-ms y ou ? 

Ti/ke. Hush ! 

Lord Avon, No one hears ? 

Tyke, Yes, there does. 
- Lord Avon, Impossible ! 

Tyke, There does, I tell you — there does. 

Lord Avon, Ah I how ! where ? — (Tyke., shud' 
dering^ points up to heaven J — .Damnation I — ^baf- 
fled — trod on by this wretch !— -and must I stoop, 
to dissemble ? — Robert, I am satisfied. 

Tyke, I wish I was. 

Lord Avon, *Twas but to try your virtue. 

Tyke, Was not it, tho' ?— ^well, I hope that^ 
true ; but it flustered me sadl> — I declare, I'm ^U 
of a dother now. 

Lord Avon. But, swear to me—* 

Tyke. No, I'll never swear no more. 

Lord Avon, True, *tis unnecessary — Here, take 
this purse, good fellow. 

Tyke, Eh I no, no. 

Lord Avon, For the friendship I bear you. 

Tyke* Yes, I understand ; only, you see — you'U 
excuse me. 

Lord Avon, Do you scorn my bounty ? 

Tyke, By no means, only it wont dc — no more 
purses. 

Lord Avon. For your father's sake— - 

Tyke, Yts, yes, I'm sensible about all that-— 
but as to father, you see, I happen to have a couple 
of hands at his service — I'm much obliged — only 
I've grown a little cute and knowing lately. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM n 

Lord Avon, And would I again plunge his soul 
in guilt ! — Oh ! villain, villain ! 

Tyke* Did you speak to me ?— Oh— taking of 
yourself — yes, yes— -Why, I'll tell you a bit of se- 
cret, my Lord : I've found out that the honestest 
are the cunningest chap?— Why, there is father 
now- — he's a deep one — do you know, he can lay 
his head on his pillow, and think of dying we' a 
smile — I say he mum have kept a pratty sharp 
look out as to Vv^hat's right like — must not he ? 

Lord Avon, Leave me. 

Tyke, I will — I say, my Lord, he I he I I is go- 
ing tid' plough this aiternoon, to earn a supper for 
old man— -ha, ha ! — {snapping his finger s^j — Do 
your Lordship's heart good to come and see I 
work — rubbing hia hands exuUingly,^ 

Lord Avon, Leave me, I say l 

Tyke, We' pleasure — Ah 1 I see how it is->- 
Excuse the liberty I take we' your poor soul — but 
if you would but be persuaded to fall a ciying, 
and be comfortable — 

L.ord Avon. Instantly begone 1 

Tyke. I will. — Shall I send old man to you ?-*- 
Oh, he's a capital hand at your deplorable case.— a- 

\_Exit, 

Tyke, (without,') Yes, yes : you'll find his Lord- 
ship in that room. 

Enter Frederick. 

L.ord Avon. Ah, Frederick, speak ease this 

agonized breast ! this tortured brain ! — what hast 
thou heard ? 

Fred. All access to the lady, or the evidence 
she posseF:ses, is impossible. 

Lord Avon- Be it so. Frederick — I love—I 
eiivy — I fear thee. 

Fr^^d. My dear Lord ! — fear him who would sa- 
crifice his life ? 



72 TJIE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Lord Avo?2. Thy life ! — would'st thou ? 
Fred. Put ray firmness to the proof. 
Lord Avon. 1 shall do so. — ivlark me— In early 
life — blest years of innocence I — 1 iovtd a sweet 
and virtuous girl, but lowly born — come and be- 
hold her — (opens the cabinet. J — lli-fated Emily ! 
oh, could I recall that guilty hour — 

Fred. V/ith what melancholy sweetness she 
points to the pledge of virtuous love. 

Lord Avon. Yes, to avoid a parent's anger, we 
were privately married. — I went abroad, in the 
suit of an ambassador ; and she imprudently fol- 
lowed me. She lived in profound retirement — -I 
could seldom see her ; but her regret at my ab- 
sence was softened by the endearments of our in- 
fant son. 

Fred, flave vou a son ? 

Lord Avon. I had — oh, do not torture, but hear 
me I Shortly after the ambassador died, and was 
thought worthy of the splendid appointment. From 
that moment ambition took full possession of my 
soul, and my bouyant fancy twined round my brow 
the proudest honours a subject can enjoy ; but this 
secret — this degrading marriage — crushed each 
aspiring thought. 

Fred. But surely, the affection of a virtuous wo- 
man w>-uM compensate — 

Lord Avon, i hat was prevented : for my wife 
was secretly, but falsel}', accused of practices 
against the peiigion of the country. 

Fred^ How I envy you the proud joy of assert- 
ing her innocence, and aftbrding her the protect- 
ing arm of the husband she loved I 

Lord Avon. Irtie : but — 

Fred. I) id you not so ? 

Lord Avon. No ; — it might have injured my 
fortunes at home. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. rs 

Fred, What! — a virtuous wife injure the for- 
tunes of a British statesman ? — You know, my 
Lord, it is not so ; you know you libel your august 
patron. — Did you discover the secret villain Avho 
accused her? 

L'ird Avon, Villain ! 

Fred, Was he not a damned one ? 

Lord Avon. He was. — Oh, Frederick 1 avert 
that face, lest the indignant lightning of thy eye 
blast me I — I. was that villain 1 

Fred, You freeze my blood 1 — The man that 
I have v/orshipped — that my very soul is bound 
to — 

Lord Avon, My innocent wife was secretly im- 
mured in a convent, and the news shortlv reached 
me — that she was no more. 

Fred, It cannot be I Oh, tell me so I — My no- 
ble patron is the nurse of merit, the scourge of 
baseness ; the good man's hope, the villain's fear ; 
the great man's envy, and the poor man's friend- 

Lord Avon. Thou tortur'st me, for such I might 
have been : — ^but nov/ view me, in all mv horrors 
— ^behold the selfish patriot, the abject hypocrite, 
the savage father, and the murdering husband. 

Fred, Oh, ambition I 

Lord Avon. Aye, it was my god : for that I 
■suffered this lovely flower to wither in a cloister's 
gloom ; for damned ambition I tore my infant 
from it's mother's panting breast, and he is lost — 
lost for ever 1 But mark : — Heaven, who is as 
watchful to lay bare the villain's breast as it is to 
shelter that of innocence, has, as from the grave, 
raised up evidence of my shame ; I know where 
they are concealed — they must instantly be mine, 

Fred, But how ? 

Lord Avon, By theft. 

Fred, Forbid it, Heaven ! 

G 



74 THE SCPIOOL OF REFORM. 

Lord Avon. Think'st thou I would live to hear 
my name coupled widi dishonour, or behold my- 
self (as inquisitors treat their victims) drest out 
in hellish shapes, and thus exposed to public 
mockery and scorn ?— no, no — (seizes the pistol 
end mask.) 

Fred* Ah ! 

Lord Avon. Frederick, didst thou not say thou 
would^st sacrifice thy life I 

Fred. Aye, my life, but not my honour : — ^to 
save you, pluck out this heart — but its last pulse 
shall throb with virtue. 

Lord Avon. Thou dost refuse ? 

Fred, It is impossible-^no wretch can be found — 

Lord Avon. Yes, there is one I am sure of. 

Fred. Ah, who ? 

Lord Avon. Avondale ! — ^Tell me, is he not a 
villain fitted to my purpose ? (snatches up the 
cloak, J Farewel 1 should we meet no more — -and 
if myaim fail, will be so — thou wilt find that in 
my death I have not forgot thee. -(Is strongly of- 
ected.j — Pardon, good, dear youth, the trial to 
which I put thy virtue : — on my soul, I am glad 
that it sustained it. (IVeeps.) 

Fred. Ah, tears 1 obey their sacred impulse. 
Plunge not your soul in horrors. Thus I'll cling 
to you — thus save you from a damning deed. 
(Kneels. J 

Lord Avon. Frederick, beware ! (Presents the 
pistol to him.) — Thou art the only soul on earth I 
love : but thee, even thee, would I roll at my feet 
a corpse didst thou check my purpose. — Do net 
pull more murders on my head. — 'Tis in vain— - 
farewell ! (Breaks from him and rushes out,) 

Fred. Father of mercies, pity and pardon! -— 
(Follows him, J 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 7li 



ACT V. 



SCENE I. — An enclosed Apartment xvith two 
Doors^ and a Flight of Steps as leading to a tiif' 
ret, Frederick desce?ids, 

Frederick, 

NOT returned I— -I've watched from the turret, 
>vhich commands the road, till my strained eye- 
balls refuse their office. — This agony of doubt is 
dreadful-— but must soon be changed to more aw- 
ful certainty : — should he succeed, each hour of 
life will accumulate sorrows on his head — should 
he fail, then my loved, my kind benefactor, is 
dead. — Hark 1 sure, I heard a confased noise- 
again ! — {a pistol is Jircd?) — O Heaven ! he is no 
more — {A noise is made ctt the door^ it opens^ Lord 
Avondale rushes in, and takes off' his mask?) 

Fred, Ah, he lives ! 

Lord AvoJi, Behold — ^they're mine — (shexving 
caset and papers.') 

Fred. I heard the report of a pistol. 

Lord Avon. It was levelled at one who pursued 
me. Let me but plunge these in eternal night- 
then fate I defy — (Ferment xvithout) Follow, fol- 
low — this way ! 

Lord Avon. Ah 1 I'm pursued. 

Fer, Hush ■ here we may avoid — ah ! this 
door beset ? 

Lord Avon, Then escape is impossible—and, 
bereft of the means of death I O Frederick! if 



76 HIE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

thou 1 west me, take this faithless weapon, nerve 
thy young arri), and in mercy dash out this mad- 
dening br^in. 

General Tarragan without.) We have him, 
sure enough. 

Lord Avon. Dost thou hear? Wilt thou behold 
me dragged forth a criminal ? 

FrecL Distracting thought 1 — how — where ? Oh 
that my life could save you l-^— My life — Ah I- — It 
shall be so. — 

Lord Avon. What dost thou mean. 

JFred. G-ive me this weapon — this mask. 

Lord Avon, Frederick, what would'st thou ?-— 

Fred, (^/^us.'ihip- into his orms.) Save my bene- 
factor. — 1 cannot sin, but i can stifFer for you. 

Gen. {xviihoui.') Force the door. 

Lord J.von, Ihink me not so damned — 

Fred, There is no time for words — ^fly to the 
turret. — I being found, all search will cease. 

Lord Avon, Thou shalt not suffer, by Heaven ! 

Fred. No, no ; fear not, I will escape— a mo- 
ment moie and all is lost: they force the door — 
away, away ! — {Lord Ave vacate retreats to the turret 
"—Frederick puts on cloak and mask — the door is 
forced — General Tarragan, Ferment, and a 
number of Servants rush in.) 

Gen» Ahj there he stands'. — ^'anmask the vil- 
lain. 

Fer. Vil do that. (Going up to Frederick he 
fihexvs the pistol—Ferment retrcatc — Frederick 
then takes off the mask,) 

AH. Frederick ! 

Gen. What! — no I — it can't be I — let me see 
him, only let me see him l — -zviphig his eyes') — 
Villain, viper, hypocrite I — S'death 1 what am I 
about? — I that have lighted the mine that was to 
blow up hundreds of innocent souls — and now to 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 7r 

snivel at a -but they are red-hot drops of fury, 

damme ! I shall be choaked instead of him— ~ 
seize him ! Where '& his Lordship? 

Fer, V\\ find him directly. — 1 know I shall suc- 
ceed to the situation he has dishonoured — that^s 
all the comfort I can aftbrd ; and if he wants more, 
let him look for it in his own breast. [Exit. 

Fred. (^Afiart.) I will look there. 

Gen, You have disgraced the chanty that fos- 
tered you — ^}*our example may palsy the warm 
hand of benevolence, and many an innocent may 
suffer for \'our crime. 

Fred, Oh! 

Julia, {luithoiU,') What do I hear ! Fil not be- 
lieve it. 

Fred. Julia's voice ! — Oh, save me from this 
— ^.ead me to my prison. 

Gen. Hold ! — • 

Enter Julia. 

juIia, O Frederick ! then it is so — father, sup- 
port me 1 

Gen, Look at this girl — the daughter of Gene- 
ral Tarragan — more — -the heiress to a princely 
fortune- — nay, more— .-the darling child of an 
honest man. — I don't cry you rascal ! now, do I ? 
— tihe, yes, she confessed she loved you. 

Fred, Oh, brain! brain! brain! 

Ge7i, Recover, and hear more. — I, like a fond 
father — no, like a damned old rascal — was about 
to ask Lord Avondalc's consent to your union. 
Now, away with him ! 

Fred, Hold off one moment — (^he breaks from 
them and falls at Julia's feet^ — Angel of pity, 
through v.' hose cherub lips the breath of hatred 
never yet found way — oh, do not curse me ! 

Julia, Sav, then, you are innocent. 

g2 



78 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM* 

Fred, I am. 

yulia. Innocent? 

Fred Oh, niost unfortunate. 

Gen. Away with him, I ^ay ! 

Fred. Stand offl — Julia mine — that heaven 
within my reach. Instant conduct me t<* — 

Julia. Where? — speak, speak, Frederick—' 
where ? 

Fred. To — (after a struggle xvhlch overpoxvers 
him J — to my ^^ri^o.i— ( he fcdls ixiiausled iiuhe at" 
iendants'' lum^^ they bear him oij») 

Gen, Zounds I l*m as hot as — I'm a portable 
furnace : — but where is his lordship ; you shall be 
his instantly : I vvon't eat — I won't sleep — till 
you are Lady Avcndale. 

Julia. My haopiness is gone forever. 

Gen. No, it is not — you shall be happy — you 
shall beah?ppv briclt. — Fly, rascals', find Lord 
Avondale (Exeunt Servant^.J Come along, 
you shall be this duy a happy, happy bride. 

[Exeunt, 

SCENE III A Room in the Castie, 

Enter Lord Avondale follozved by Tyke. 

Lord A% 071. My good fellow — 

Tyke, B*e&s me, my Lord, what can be the 
matter I 

Lord Avon. I am distracted. 

Tyke. Oh, now I understand — ^he's going to be 
married, roor man ; and, of course, in a taking 
about ir — v. hy, that's all natural enough. 

Lord AvoL, Hear me — Frederick has been de- 
tectf r — " 

Tyke. Detected'. 

Lord Avon, In the commission of a robbery. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 79 

Tyke. What ! that mask — that pistol — (shak- 
ing his head. J 

L:rd Avoiu Hush ! Dost thou not pity him ? 

Tyke. I do, indeed 1 — poor lad I — 1 say, you 
know he is not h Jf so bad as either ot us. 

Lord Avon, iiobcrt, I was once diy iandlord— • 
1 trust not a severe one 

Tyke. Severe 1— nay, that's cutting ; — that's 
as much as to say that i\'e for^^ot your kindness 
to ,me. — Did you not put me to school ? and 
though I settled all ruy matters there in a month, 
that was no fault of yours : yoii gave me money- - 
if I mistised it, you were not to blame : only tell 
me how I can show my love, honesth', we' sub- 
mission like — 

Lord A^jon. Procure Frtderick''s escape, 

'fyke. I'll do my best. 

Lord Avon. See this purse, 'tis richly stored ; 
and, properly disposed of, it may do much : — pro- 
mise any thing — half my estates ; and remember, 
Robert, that in saving him you will preserve my 
life. 

Tyke. What ! your life ? — that's enough.-— 
{Takes the purse and runs off'^ 

Lord Avon. Never, Frederick, shall judgment 
be pronounced against thee. — Here I swear, that 
if the hour of trial come, Avondaie will stand 
forth arrayed in all his guilt, and save that inno- 
cent, that noble youth. 

Enter Peter. 

Peter, General Tarragan requests your imme- 
diate attendance — He entreats the marriage cere- 
mony may instantly take place — (^Lord Avondaie 
starts.y^ThQ preparations have already began* 



sa THE SCHOOL OF REFORM, 

Lord Avon* I'll come to him. (^E^it Peter. ^i 
Marriagt— why does the thought terrify r My 
heart ceases to beat— my numbed limbs seem to 
fasten on the earth, and the faded form of Emih' 
fiits before my dazzled sight.— Let me shake off 
this horrid lethargy— let me collect my thoughts. 
(^Stnks into a chair.) 

Enter Mr. and Mrs, Ferment at the back Scene, 

Fer. There he is — he seems unhappy ; but as 
soon as he perceives me, you'll see the difference, 
I suppose the evidence of your ov/n eyes and ears 
will convince you ? now mark the attention, the 
— the joy. — How do you do, my Lord, — ^liow do 
you do ? {Lord Avondale looks — then turns from 
him — Fermenty disappointed^ carries his chair 
round to the other side, ' — *I see how it is, rnv lord ; 
the villainy of that young viper, which you foster- 
ed in your bosom — but I flatter mvself, that, in 
your humble servant, you will find more talent, 
and a zeal warm as- — 

Lord Avon* Did you speak ? 

Ftr. Yes, a little. 

Lord Avon. Oh! (relapsing into inattention.) 

Fer, But for me the monster would have escap- 
ed. 

Lord Avon* (Starting up and turning to him. J 
Ah ! indeed I 

Fer* (Apart.) Oh I now we come on a little — 
Did not your lordship know that I detected him ? — 

Lord Avon* No — (restraitihig his rage.) ^ 

Fer* Oh! all owing to me — -caught a g'impse 
of the villain in my house — followed him up close 
— he thought to frighten me, Pugh — fired at me, 
received his shot like a castle — it passed through 
my hat — not this hat — but I take no merit. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. ai 

I/^rd. Avon, Yet take — 

Fer. Oh> my sweet lord I — any thing that you 
propose — 

Lord Avon, Yes — take my everlasting curses, 

\_Exit. 

Fer. Oh, lord ! oh, dear ! I'm very ill. — Fanny, 
wife — one word — only one — let me hear some 
voice besidemy own in this damned infernal house, 
as poor Juliet says, or I shall faint. . 

Mrs, Fer. Do you confess you are wrong ? 

Fer. I do. 

Mrs, Fer, Will you abandon your schemes ? 

Fer. I will. 

Mrs, Fer, Will you sometimes follow my ad- 
vice ? 

Fer. Always — ^you shall be my magnet. 

Mrs, Fer. The first that ever attracted lead, I 
believe — ha ! ha ! 

Fer, Say what you will, only talk — and if ever 
I go a lord-hunting again, may I lose this worth- 
less head ! 

Mrs. i^^r.Then, if ever I think of ruling again, 
may I lose your estimable heart ! 

Fer. What ! don't make me cry — then,' that for 
you, old sour-crout (snapping his fingers. J — 1 
have a plan I 

Mrs, Fer. A plan ! (alarmed.) 

Mrs.^Ftr, A plan for imitating your silence, my 
dear Fanny. 

Mrs, Fer, Then my plan shall be to imitate your 
prattling — You know, after so long a silence — • 

Fer, You must have a great number of worcls 
by you. 

Mrs, Fer, I shall talk till I tire you. 

Fer, No, vou won't. 

Mrs, Fer, Yes, I shall. 

Fer, Nc — Oh, delicious 1 charming ! 

[^Exeunt^ embracing. 



(C 



«2 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

SCENE IV. — Inside of a prison, — Fredejiick 

discovered ; hisjigure and dress bespeak the deso- 
lation of his mind, 

Frederick, 

When the contemplative mhid approaches death, 
how Uttle seems the mighty war of passions which 
agitate this atom, man ! " But how tedious are 
' the hours — and, if to the breast of innocence a 

prison brings its terrors, what must his suffer- 
" ings be, whose sole companions are those 
" thoughts which haunt his guiUy breast ?^— O 
Julia J«»»-to know thy love only to meet thy hate ! 
Perhaps even now he leads her to the altar — Ah 1 
that thought is madness — but no, it cannot be-— . 
this is no hour for joy — my fate must banish plea- 
sure from their hearts — ^no — no — ^'tis impossible. 
I wrong my friend — I wrong thee, lovely Julia ! 
CA chime of bells at a distance,) Ah I those 
soonds — it is the marriage peel — and with it, my 
dying knell ! — Julia, hear me — I am innocent!— 
Avondale, hold — inhuman, guilty man I (^77/e 
door is unlocked,'-^Enter Tyke and Jador — Tyke 
7not:cr.s yaUor to retire — Jailor exit.) 

Tyke. There he is, poor fellow I-^ — yet I think 
he looks innocent — :xt least I am pratty sure, when 
I used to look intid' glass, I never saw any thing 
like that — I say — I is come to comfort thee like — ^ 
— I hope thou repents of what thou hast done ? 

Fred, No. 

Tyke. Oh dear ! he's not fit to die ' — I mun 
get him away — I say. Lord Avondale sent me 
to — 

Fred, Oh ! — ^leave me ! 

Tyke, But I won't though— thou mun try to 
escape. 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 83 

Fred, I will not escape — Be gone, rascal ! 

Tyke. Rascal ! — well, 1 was one, and I mun 
bear it — but — 

Fred, Dare not approach me. 

Tijke, Pugh 1 Pugh ! (advancing,) 

Fred, Must I, then, force you from my pre- 
sence I C strikes him, J 

Tyke, A blow 1 — (seizes Frederick by the collar ; 
the action forces open the neck of his shirty sees the 
F marked on bis neck ; he tremblinghj lets go^ and 
points to the mark.) 

Fred. What do you point at ? 

Tyke, At — at — I hardly dare look again ! — Eh ! 
^Tis he — 'tis he ! (-with great animation,) 

Fred, This mark ! 

Tyke, I made it — I'll take my oath on't. I've 
found him ! — IVe found him ! 

Fred, Speak ! 

Tyke. Come to thy father's— Come to Lord 
Avondale ! 

Fred, Ah ! — have 1 then suffered in a father's 
cause ! Oh, do not deceive me ! 

Tyke. Why, do I look like such a savage beast, 
tlien ? — See here ! (placing his hands on his moist 
eyes and shewing them,) Believe my eyes, if you 
won't my tongue. I've often danced thee on my 
knee !— feive me thy hand ! 

Enter Jailor, 

Jailor . What's the matter here ? 

l^red. My happiness — ^the happiness of Lord 
Avondale — is in ijour power. The property in 
question was my own, the legacy of an unfortunate 
mother. Pinion me, hand and foot, only bring 
me to^my father ! 

Tyke. Do — I'll stay here for him.— No, I can't 
do that— ^I must be in the thick on't. 



84 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 

Fred, Be merciful — I will not iiy ! 

Jailor, Why, I believe 1 may veutiire to take 
you to the castle. 

Tijke, You may. I'll hold him fast round the 
neck — and then his father \vi;l hold him fast round 
the neck. 

Fred. Oh ! each moment is an age ? 

Jailor, Well — let me find the key. 

Tyke, Oh, never mind key — (rushes against 
the door — it opens,) There — come — come, 

\_Exeunt. 

SCENE the last. — A Gothic Chapel illuminated ; 
the entrance of the choir in the back scene^ with 
steps to ascend — -folding-doors conceal the in- 
terior of the chapel — Music behind the scenes — 
a Marriage Procession enters — then Lord Avon- 
dale, Julia, and General Tarragan. 

Gen, Well, my Lord, the joyful hour has at 
length arrived. 1 fancy it would be difficult to 
find three happier people. {^Lord Avondale bows,) 
Nov/, farewel to Julia Tarragan ! — a name my 
tongue has dwelt on with rapture, and demands a 
parting tear. Kiss me, my girl ! — but, I shall see 
thee grace a nobler name. Well, now to the alter 
— my Lord, we wait — 

Lord Avon, f Starting) For mel f Recovering) 
My lovely bride, your hand — (Theij move to- 
wards the chapel — the folding-doors are opened^ 
which discovers Mrs, S , Clair in the dress ofrthc 
picture^ her right hand pointing to the zuedding 
ring — Lord Avon dale., advancing vp the steps., be- 
holds her — falls back into the arms of the atten- 
dantSi exclaiming) Angels of mercy 1 — Emily !' 
fFaints,) 



#• 



THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. 85 

Emily. Yes 1 — ^behold thy innocent— thy much- 
wronged wife I — CAll express astonishment ^^she 
comes forward. J Inhuman man ! — hear me I— < 
Where is my child t — ^where is my darling boy t 

Tyke. CWithout.J Stand out of the way 1 — here 
lie comes l^ — here he comes 1— — 

Enter Frederick gw^Ttke- 

Fred. Julia ! — married ! — 

Julia, (Looking down,) No, Frederick! 

Fred, (Seeing Lord Avondale,) Ah I what means 
this ? — Father, father 1 hear me ! — It is your son 
that call* I — Will not that charmed name restore 
you? 

Emily. Ah, son 1^— (Leans on Julia, J 

Fred. (Turning round.) What do I see ?— 
that form ! — ^that dress ! — Oh, tell me ! — docs my 
heart deceive me ? — Mother ! — (She rushes into 
his arms,) I know thy wrongs — my father has be- 
wailed them with tears of anguish. Oh, forgive 
him — ^he has been my benefactor — ^he has loved 
me — he has been a father to me — ^take his hand — 
there — the warm contact will animate each torpid 
pulse ; will wake his heart to penitence — to love 
—-ah, he revives — 

T.ord ^71'^n, f Recovering — looks round.) Emily ! 

^Vhat am I to think ? 
^' there— (/>/5' 



86 THE SCHOOL OF REFORM. • . 

Avondale — Julia takes the other hand of Etnily^^ 
General Tarragan rests on his sticky with his hand- 
kerchief to his ieyes — Tijke^ with joyful satisfactiom 
points to the group, J 



END OF THE PLAY. 



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